Author: katiebiddle4317

I realize if you’re really going to trust me to be your faithful companion on this allergy-free journey, you probably want to know a little bit more about me. So we’ll start with 2 character traits which I’m sure anyone who knows me will readily attest are true:

1) I get absurdly excited about the littlest things in life. Not to say I don’t get absurdly excited about the big things too…but really why do we overlook the little joys in life?? (You know, last day of taking your antibiotic, last run before retiring a pair of running shoes,  first peppermint mocha of the holiday season…all things to be celebrated!) I don’t care that people often make fun of me for it…it’s who I am. And I think the world would be a much happier place if more people hopped aboard my celebration train.  In fact, I once had a plan to start my own line of greeting cards to celebrate obscure events so my friends and I spent much of the spring semester one year at Villanova compiling a list of obscure events we thought there should be cards for (everything from “Yay!! You’re Class Commencement speaker!” to “Enjoy playing the Last 8 PM Mass of Your College Career!”) Unfortunately, I think ecards have pretty much filled that need and saturated my target market (see, I really was a business major once upon a time) so I’ve abandoned the plan for my greeting card line. I’ll just make ads for my bakery encouraging the celebration of such life events with an allergy-free treat 🙂

2) I have a gift for dates. Now I know what you’re thinking: wow, Katie way to kick yourself up a few notches on the conceited chart. Before you jump to conclusions, I’m not talking about the usually awkward yet so entertaining encounters between two people getting acquainted (it’s ok to admit it: you secretly enjoy when the hostess seats you near the people who are clearly on a first date…it’s like a soap opera you just can’t stop watching. And yes, it’s even more entertaining when food allergies play into the dating scene. Those of you waiting with bated breath for that post, I promise it’s coming…you won’t be disappointed.)  I’m also not talking about that overgrown-raisin-looking fruit (though they are delicious too). I’m talking about calendar dates. While most kids spend December 26^th playing with their favorite new Christmas toy, I always spent it filling in a year’s worth of birthdays and holidays on the new calendar Santa was always kind enough to deliver each year. I was also that kid who loved to stare at the cupcakes, party hats, or whatever creative birthday chart my teachers came up with each year and to this day, I can still tell you the birthday of almost every elementary school classmate of mine…even without facebook to remind me. I don’t know why dates stick in my mind but that’s always been the case. Which of course is convenient considering I love to celebrate obscure occasions and holidays.

Although I think it’s ALWAYS important to celebrate the little things in life, I believe this is especially true when you’re facing a challenge: i.e. adapting to a new diet. Mark off dates on your calendar, celebrate mini-milestones. Embrace your inner-middle-school self (perhaps you don’t remember middle school but I get to witness it everyday: Happy 2-Week Anniversary, 3-Week Anniversary, etc…see, I knew it would come back to you 🙂 ) and celebrate like crazy. One-month allergen-free, 3 months without an ER visit, 1 month free of labwork…all occasions worth celebrating if you ask me!

Now of course, celebrating is a bit more challenging now because you can’t just grab a donut, cookie, cupcake, etc. from any old bakery. (Well, at least until I find capital investors for mine!) Again, have no fear: that’s why I’m here! I have some ideas for you…and then a recipe in case all else fails.

http://www.icanhavethat.com/:This is ingenious. And actually it’s really more of those of you without allergies but who have allergy friends. These baskets make the PERFECT gift! Safe, delicious, and a rare treat for those of us who can’t eat a lot of things in typical gift baskets.

I know these posts usually take a more humorous approach but you knew the inevitable serious post was on its way. Well here it is…because when all is said and done, adapting to a new way of life, whether food-related or otherwise, is hard. You can do your best to face every minute of every day with a smile, a joke, and an optimistic outlook. But the reality is, every once in a while, it gets to be too much…even for the most optimistic of the bunch. You get frustrated. You get angry. You get sad. You feel utterly and completely alone. Of course you do because one of those seemingly unfair realities of our finite human condition is that even the greatest support systems, family, friends, co-workers, etc., are inherently limited. If you’re jetting off on a plane somewhere, security is the limit for your entourage.  Even little kindergarteners on the first day of school can only bring Mom and Dad so far before they’re stopped and the obligatory tear-filled hugs begin (and yes, I’ve seen it enough times now to attest the parents in tears usually far outnumber the kids). And of course, this holds true in the medical world as well. Family members are only allowed to a certain point, and sometimes even the nurse has to leave (radiation you know) and it’s just you laying on a cold table while a really loud machine scans away for something you don’t even really understand. I do have to say, as difficult as those moments of solitude can be, they also allow you to become stronger and more self-aware…discovering what it is that motivates you and sustains you in those instances of pure vulnerability. For me the answer to that question is an easy one: faith.

Faith has always been an important part of my life and that became even more true during my two years teaching in one of the not-so-nice neighborhoods in our nation’s capital. I could not be more serious when I tell you I would not have made it through those 2 years without prayer and my what-became-almost-daily visits to 5:15 PM mass at the Basilica near our community house. Then when my school closed and I found myself sick in a new city where I really only knew one person well enough to rely on, I know I wouldn’t have been able to face doctor appointment after test after doctor appointment after test without my trusty rosary by my side. I even bought a new strictly yarn and wood one so they’d let me bring it into CT scans and MRI rooms.

By another stoke of what I consider to be providence, I found myself well enough in the midst of that “summer of sickness” to make the trip to Philadelphia for a 2-day young adult retreat hosted by the Jesuits. It was a rejuvenating 2 days for me…and it even involved a special surprise: Fr. James Martin (a Philly native) joined us for the whole retreat. I even got to share breakfast with Fr. Jim one morning and talk with him about one of this books that had become a staple in my life during my 2 years in ACE, My Life with the Saints. If you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor. Pick up a copy. (http://www.amazon.com/My-Life-Saints-James-Martin/dp/0829426442/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373391758&sr=8-1&keywords=my+life+with+the+saints)  Or you can borrow mine…but I want it back, Fr. Jim wrote me a special note in it  🙂

My note from Fr. Jim 🙂

When I headed back to Baltimore that Sunday, geared up for another week of tests and frustration, I had a new source of comfort. The saints. I always relied on my rosary because as a product of 15 years of schools devoted to Our Lady (that’s right K-12 and 2 years of grad school at schools called Notre Dame), Mary has always been an important figure for me. However, after re-reading Fr. Jim’s book for probably the 15^th time, I suddenly turned to other saints for intercession too. On the days I was feeling the effects of my what at the time was a “mystery illness”, I prayed for the intercession of St. Therese of Lisieux. On the days I was feeling humbled by my shortcomings, I prayed through St. Francis. When I was feeling hopeless, I turned to St. Jude. When I was feeling lost, I turned to St. Anthony. And when I needed a laugh, St. Philip Neri was my guy (someone has to be the clown of the bunch!). As the summer wore on, my trusty rosary and my friends, the saints, helped me get through with as much optimism as one could.

Of course, I also realized that there are modern-day saints in your life everyday…you know, those people who just seem to be the face of Christ at work in your life.  Those blessings that seem to appear when you need them most and yet you don’t feel quite deserving.  One of those blessings for me that summer was a good friend who we’ll call the Saint in a Bow Tie. We had spent 2 years living and working in DC together and shared some of the highest highs and lowest lows which it seems every service experience entails. And since in our new city, he was the one person I knew well enough to rely on, he accompanied me to the tests that scared me, listened as I vented my frustrations, even tried to cook for me when I was too sick to do it myself. If that’s not the face of Christ in action, I don’t know what is.  Once I humbled myself to accept his help of course. There was another good friend (we’ll call her the Saint in the Sundress) who used one of her vacation days at her job in DC just so she could come be by my side for a Gilmore Girls marathon while we waited for my endoscopy procedure. Christ again I’d say.

Now given all the above, you can tell my faith is important to me. Well, enter late July. I finally had a cause for all my maladies: gluten. I was finally mastering which foods I could and could not eat, cleaned out my cabinets, etc. and went back into see a nutritionist to figure out why I was still having reactions at least once a week. I happened to be wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with my school’s name and she took notice as I was about to leave. Here is the conversation which ensued:

This was a moment I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Suddenly that sick feeling I kept getting each week made sense. I know it sounds crazy since the word bread is probably used during mass at least 5 times but I had never put it together. The Eucharist, though transformed during mass, contains wheat. And by Canon law, it has to. That was the moment my world literally came crashing down. I remember walking out of the hospital that day feeling numb. You know that feeling when your world has just turned upside down and you can’t figure out how everyone else is just going on with their day as usual? I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal for a lot of people. But for me it was. The one thing which was at the core of who I was that no one could take away was my faith. And no, this wasn’t taking away my faith in the slightest. But it was taking away my ability to participate fully. To receive what is considered to be the summit of our faith. The Eucharist had sustained me through so many trials in life…and suddenly that lesson we taught the 2^nd graders during communion preparation about how just as our bodies wither without food, so our spirits wither without receiving Christ in the Eucharist replayed in my mind. And now, when I needed the gift of the Eucharist more than ever, I was facing the reality of a future without it.

As you can imagine, I was probably overreacting. Slightly. I got home and did a little research and found out that in fact, there are low-gluten communion hosts which have been approved for use in the Catholic Church by the USCCB. God bless those Benedictine Sisters who worked for years on perfecting a host which contains enough wheat to satisfy Canon Law but also a minimal enough amount that most people don’t get sick. So I ordered some and started what proved to be even more challenging: finding priests and a parish which could understand my new needs. As a relatively new Baltimore resident, I didn’t have an established relationship yet with the parish I often attended on Sundays. Over the next few weeks, I visited several different churches…and each week left in near-tears. There were priests who just seemed frustrated by my request, there were times my host was forgotten on the credence table, and thus never consecrated. There were times when I had to stand up and receive communion first while the entire church sat and stared…and then later questioned. (Granted, this was before I owned my intolerance…remember that whole accepting you’re a little high maintenance thing? Yeah, I was nowhere near that yet) Let’s just say I was in a dark place. Even a tear-filled conversation on a curb with the Saint in the Bow Tie wasn’t enough to comfort me.

Then mid-August arrived…and in walked my Saint in Shorts and a T-Shirt. He was a good friend whose summer job had taken him away since early June. He knew I had been sick but had missed out on the bulk of the details. So on the August morning of his return, we met up for an activity I was finally feeling well enough to restart: running. Granted, it started pouring soon after we met, but still we ran on. As we ran, I filled him in on the sordid details of the summer. I explained test after test after hospital visit after test. But it was when I told him about the latest saga with the communion hosts that I fell apart. Now I should point out, the Saint in Shorts and a T-Shirt isn’t Catholic, but he is Christian and he shares a similar commitment to his faith and understood my feelings regarding the Eucharist. After he dropped me off at home that day, he took it upon himself to visit a local Catholic chapel. He spoke to someone he knew there, found someone else with my same predicament, and called to tell me that on Sunday he was picking me up and taking me to mass and that everything was going to be fine. Sure enough, that Sunday I arrived at mass and was greeted by a smiling face who knew exactly what I needed and told me to just come up in the regular communion line and he would make sure to find me and take care of me. And he did. And for several weeks afterward, the Saint in Shorts and a T-Shirt (although I guess he can also be the Saint in a Button-Down so you don’t think he went to mass in running clothes every week) accompanied me to mass until I had regained my spirit of optimism…and came to own my intolerance. He also contacted the woman at the low-gluten altar bread monastery for me. (If you need her: http://www.altarbreadsbspa.com/altarbreads/) Again, if that’s not Christ at work in my life, I don’t know what is.

Granted, I now don’t care if I have to be a spectacle during mass…and there are still times that my host gets lost or confused or just doesn’t happen and I’m fine with it…but I truly believe that the Saint in Shorts and a T-Shirt was the face of Christ for me in a time when I so desperately needed it. Do I still get bitter from time to time that I have to be 10 minutes early for mass if I want to have a host and that I have to remember to bring my own if I’m not at my home parish? Sure. But then I remember that the words bitter and Eucharist just don’t belong in the same train of thought and I get over it.

So I guess this is my long-winded way of saying you’re going to have bad days. Or even weeks. But if you look carefully, I guarantee there are people in your life who have been placed there to help you. Sometimes you just have to humble yourself to accept it. Other times you might be the person someone needs in his or her life. Be the face of Christ for someone else. Accept help from someone who is trying to be the face of Christ for you.  Isn’t that why we’re all here anyway, to be there for another? Whether it’s a food allergy or something far worse.

Regardless of what your faith is, be on the lookout for those everyday heroes in your life. And try to be one. I just prefer to call them Saints. In Street Clothes.

I told you I was forgetting some pitfalls. Thanks to some emails with follow-up questions, I realized I forgot one of the most important ones (well, for the ladies out there anyway):

g) Nail Polish/Manicures: As a lifelong violinist, I can count on one hand the number of manicures I’ve ever had. (Well actually, I can count it on one finger.) Short fingernails are key if you want to hit the right notes. Not to mention, my orchestra director frowned upon anyone’s fingers standing out during a performance…so I spent my teenage and high school years manicure-free and relatively nail-polish-free. I branched out into the nail polish world during my college years but still no manicures since I was playing violin 2 nights a week. Fast forward a few years. My gluten-free life had just begun and I was getting ready to be a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding. Some of our friends were heading to the salon in preparation for the big weekend and for once I didn’t have any violin-playing responsibilities on the horizon…so I figured why not? Well, much to my dismay, I was feeling ill each time I ate for the next 24 hours before I put it all together. That pungent smell of newly manicured nails hit my nose as I was snacking on a handful of almonds…and that sinking feeling hit me in the gut. I ran to the internet. Sure enough, not all nail polish is gluten free!! And certainly not all those fancy lotions they use to make your hands oh-so-soft.  So before you make the same mistake and contaminate every single thing you touch(literally), here are some safe brands to consider before you beautify those nails:

As for the manicure itself, honestly I’d suggest skipping it. I mean you can bring all your own lotions and color, etc. but at that point why pay someone to do it for you? Just have your friends over and do it yourself! If everyone is heading to the spa, treat yourself to a pedicure if you really need to unwind…the chances of your toenails contaminating anything are minute. At least I hope so…

When you’re diagnosed with a food allergy/intolerance, you usually walk out of the office with photocopied list of Dos and DON’Ts for your new diet, an appointment with a nutritionist, and approximately 317,489 unanswered questions floating around in your brain.  You get home, walk into your kitchen and take a glance at the back of your favorite comfort food: potatoes (check!), salt (check), cottonseed oil…problem. It’s not on the DO list or the DON’T list! Now what?? Ah yes, if only it were as simple as a DO list and a DON’T list.

As far as food goes, here is my advice:

Pretty much everywhere I went today, I heard the same refrain, “Enjoy the long weekend”, “Have a great holiday”, or some other line expressing the same sentiment.  Yes, tomorrow is a holiday (at least here in the great U.S. of A) and that means fireworks, days away from the office, and of course: cookouts. For some reason, holidays in our society have becoming increasingly focused on two things: food and commercialism. I guess one could argue that these are 2 sides of the same coin. Regardless, there’s nothing easy about your first holiday on a restricted diet.

Before I continue, there is something you should know about me: I LOVE traditions. So much so that it became a family joke growing up. I’m a person who likes familiarity and routines. To me, each holiday had specific actions, rituals, smells, sounds, sights, and yes foods. Without these, it just wouldn’t be the same. Well, imagine my surprise when Christmas rolled around and I learned candy canes were no longer an option, when Valentine’s Day came and 90% of my “To Miss Burke, Love Your #1 Student” treats (apparently I had 20 #1 students that year) ended up in my friends’ kitchens, and of course that dark day when October arrived and I learned that my relationship with candy corn was over. Honestly, I can handle a lot but that was just too much. You’re talking to the girl who used to stock up the day after Halloween. I’ve been known to have bags left in March. I wish I were kidding…

 

Now I have yet to confront my first Easter without chocolate (well I guess technically I did this year but I don’t think it counts since I was sitting in Urgent Care with hives)…so prayers will certainly be appreciated come next April 🙂 The point is holidays will be hard for the first year because there will inevitably be something else that you can’t have anymore which never crossed your mind. The good news: this is the perfect opportunity to start new traditions…and to focus on other aspects of holidays that you may have overlooked before!

Bake for about 10 minutes at 350 degrees. Pure delciousness. Just make sure to warn anyone that has a nut allergy since it’s ALMOND flour 🙂

There may be some of you out there who are lucky enough to have your own kitchen…in which case, allergy-proofing is a bit easier. Once all allergen sources have been eliminated, you’ve purchased a new toaster, a new cutting board, a few new utensils (gluten likes to hide in crevices of wooden ones), and of course a new sponge- you’re pretty much all set.

However, I would predict that for the majority of us, it’s not so easy. Whether for financial reasons or friendship, you may have a roommate and as fantastic as that person is, you can’t really say “Hey, you know I can’t eat bread or cereal or ice cream so I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t either”. I mean I guess you could but I don’t think the friendship will last much longer.

Maybe you’re married…remember those promises you made to love one another “in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, food allergies or no food allergies” (I know, I know, it probably falls under the sickness and health category…but I personally don’t like to think of it as a sickness). That means you and your spouse will have to find a way to safely co-exist in the kitchen. Again, you could try the whole “I can’t eat this so you shouldn’t in solidarity” approach…but I personally don’t think that’s the best route to take. I’d suggest the path of compromise. From what I hear it’s the key to a happy marriage. Well, that and an inordinate amount of patience. And now with a food allergy, so are toothpaste and mouthwash…but trust me, that’s a different post for a different time 🙂

So if one of these is your reality, you’re in luck because I’ve been in the same boat. And by that, I mean the roommate boat…not the marriage one. (By all means, if you know of any kind, upstanding young men, please feel free to let me know:-) So, based on my past 2 years of life in a shared apartment, here are my tips for safely co-existing in a shared kitchen:

All in all, I’ve been surprised to see how possible it is to co-exist in a kitchen with a non-allergenic housemate. Now granted it helps if this person truly cares about you and is willing to bend over backwards to keep you safe. If you’re in that situation, you’re in luck. If not, you may want to consider a new living situation…or at least have a serious chat.

Now have fun reorganizing and labeling the kitchen. Not only will it keep you healthy and safe, it really makes for a great conversation starter when guests come over…

I know what you’re thinking: I wrote two entries, exhausted all my wisdom, and abandoned you to figure out the allergy world on your own. Have no fear: I just went to Rhode Island to chaperone a weeklong service camp. I’m back and ready to share.

Now I know this post is a little out of order but since it’s more timely, I’m going to share some tips about venturing out into the world of vacations and road trips. If you’re anything like me, it takes awhile to even feel safe in your own kitchen again as you navigate the inevitable pitfalls of allergy-proofing (Did you buy a new toaster? Cutting board? Replace those ancient scratched-up pots and pans??). Then just when you’re feeling good and confident in your own kitchen, someone says the word that brings those butterflies back to the pit of your stomach: VACATION. Days and days away from the kitchen where you finally feel safe, surrounded by unfamiliar restaurants where servers may not know the difference between gluten and bread crumbs. The plus side: you finally realize that living with an allergy in your own home suddenly seems doable; the downside: that “it’s not fair…now I can’t even go on vacation anymore” feeling starts to sneak in. Take it from me: no need to panic. Yes, you can go on vacation. Yes, it will take a lot more planning than it used to or than it does for your other non-allergy friends and family members…but trust me, in the end it’s worth it. You’ll be healthy, happy…and honestly, you’ll probably end up saving yourself some money in the long run 🙂

Planning for the Road:

Now I know this seems a bit overwhelming….especially because I haven’t even mentioned packing clothes, toiletries, etc. but that you’ve had down to a science for years now I bet. Before you know it, your food-packing plan will be the same. And don’t forget: unless you’re vacationing to the deep woods or maybe the Arctic Circle, there will be grocery stores nearby. If you run short on snacks, just go shopping. Let yourself eat ice cream for dinner. It is vacation after all 🙂

There are few instances in life where I actually agree with the old adage “Out of sight, out of mind”…but food is one of them. Sure, from time to time there will be moments when you crave something out of the blue: a crisp fall morning with crunching leaves will leave you dreaming of a pumpkin spice latte or a hot summer day may find you imagining some sweet corn…but more often than not I promise you, if you don’t see have the food around, you really won’t miss it. Well, most foods anyway.

For that reason, as hard as it may be, one of the first things you should do when you get home from the doctor (or receive the phone call or however it is that you learned the news) is empty out those cabinets. And by that I mean EMPTY. Pull every single thing out and put it on the counter (now if you’re anything like me, you’ll find things with expiration dates that will make you cringe anyway…so really this is a good idea for anyone to do on occasion). Then go through each item and make 3 piles: 1) Food that is DEFINITELY safe   2) Food that is DEFINITELY NOT safe and 3) Food that I am not quite sure (Most likely this will be your biggest pile). Now I will give you fair warning: this is the time in the acceptance process where I usually shed my tears. You’ll learn things you never knew: your favorite sausages may contain gluten, your favorite crackers may contain milk, your favorite pretzels may have soy, and pretty much your favorite everything will have corn in there somewhere. Ok not everything…but a lot 🙂

All right, now back to your 3 piles:

Now: sit back and take a look at your new, clean, healthy cabinets. Yes, I know they’re probably looking a little sparse and you’re thinking, “How in the world am I going to make a meal out of the random assortment of things left in here??” Fear not: you’ll figure it out. Partially because you’re about to become a super-creative chef…but also because you’re going to head out to the store, research in hand, and come home to fill all those empty spaces with delicious, new healthy-for-you foods! But that’s a job for another day 🙂                                                                   

It was a familiar scene: me sitting patiently in a chair, pen poised and notepad in hand, while yet another baffled doctor grimaced as he read through my chart…which by the way has now spilled over into two folders. He looked up at me and said the words I knew in my heart were coming, “I think it’s corn.”

Now I know what you’re thinking, allergic to corn?? That’s not so bad. No more popcorn during movies, no more corn syrup-filled beverages, and you can kiss Mexican food good-bye…but that won’t be TOO difficult. And yes, I agree. There are far worse things in life, and really who LOVES corn anyway?? At least this is what I told myself as I gathered my lab slips and nutritionist information, scheduled a follow-up appointment and headed out the door. The sun was shining and the courtyard was filled with patients heading to and from various appointments. I smiled at each person I passed, and even chatted with a few from the older crowd,  before settling on a bench with my “it’s all going to be OK” iced coffee. Thanks to the wonders of technology I no longer had to wait until I got home to see what this diagnosis would mean. I took out my phone, googled “corn intolerance diet”…and it started to sink in. Sure, no popcorn, corn tortillas, high-fructose corn syrup, etc…but the list kept going. Things like baking powder, powdered sugar, xanthan gum, vanilla extract, vinegar, pickles, citric acid, toothpaste(!)…at that point I had to relocate to the shade, convinced that the sun glare on my screen must be at fault for making me misread the page. No, no. I had read correctly: corn is in EVERYTHING. Thank you, corn subsidies. But I did what I knew I had to do: I stood up,  gave myself an internal pep talk (Something along the lines of “Katie, today is the first day of the rest of your life! You’re lucky really! Most people don’t know when a day is the 1^stday of the rest of their life until they look back on it…but you know right now and it’s only 9 AM. June 17^th…go live it up!”), and then did the only logical thing: headed straight for Whole Foods.

Now the problem is I’ve had this same conversation with myself before. First it was gluten (July 11^th), then it was dairy (April 8^th), then it was soy/eggs (May 6^th), now corn. So you can see why my brain was not convinced by the First Day of the Rest of your life argument. It’s been deceived before.  But still I made my way through Whole Foods, gathering some comfort foods which are still allowed (i.e. BACON!), and headed home, where I would once again have to empty the cabinets- giving away all the foods which had once been so carefully selected for their use of corn instead of wheat.

The thing is I’ve realized as I’ve gone through this routine again and again…and again and again…that although I wouldn’t call it easy, it certainly has gotten easier each time. Granted, the food selection gets smaller and smaller…but I’m comforted by the knowledge that I’ve done this before and that there really will be life post-(insert allergen here). It may not look quite the same, and it may be a bit more complicated, but it will certainly be healthier and happier…so what more do you need?

So today begins my journey into the gluten-free, casein-free, soy-free, corn-free, and sort-of-egg-free chapter of my life. I’ve decided to share the steps of my journey this time, in hopes that it might help someone less fortunate (or really more fortunate I guess if you think about it) who hasn’t had to face this before and is standing where I stood in July 2011: sobbing in my kitchen next to a trash can filled with gluten-filled food, convinced that life as I knew it was over. Well, those of you standing there: cry for a few more minutes, then dry your tears. Because you’re right: life as you know it IS over. No more sickness, no more exhaustion, no more brain fog…life is about to get so much better J