katiebiddle4317

Energizer Katie…

Posted on November 8, 2013March 5, 2019 by katiebiddle4317

To say life has been crazy lately would be an understatement. Well, actually saying “Target dollar bins can be dangerous” would be an understatement. I’m not even sure the category for my life lately. It’s been almost 2 months since I moved and I STILL have a corner of unpacked boxes that haven’t been touched; I’m operating on such a sleep deficit some days that I think I could replace the bunny in the next Energizer commercial; my to-do lists could fill a small novel…and they’re quite eclectic enough that it might be an entertaining one at that. I’ll even admit last week I had a moment when I realized I’d reached an all-time low: I stopped at Target for some last-minute Halloween candy and I put a package of socks in my basket…because I wasn’t sure I’d have time before my weekend trip to do laundry and I’d run out of clean socks. And I’m also not ashamed to admit that those socks proved to be the only useful purchase I made that night…because I was so tired from All Saints’ Day madness that I fell asleep sitting on my couch waiting for the trick-or-treaters and woke up a few hours later, still in my school clothes, with a full bag of treats that I can’t even eat. Yep, that’s right I broke my own rules and let dairy in my house and then I didn’t even get to hand it out!

Now am I sitting here thinking I’m the only one in this boat? Of course not. I’d say society as a whole has reached this point where we’re all riding on the crazy boat together: working too hard, resting too little, and turning into little hamsters on wheels that just won’t stop spinning. I’m sure it’s true in most professions but I know for sure it is in teaching. If there are any teacher friends out there who aren’t feeling this way, please share your secret. I’ll write an entire post in your honor to thank you.

Regardless, tonight I had a moment that stopped me in my Energizer Katie tracks and made me reassess. For the past 3 years I’ve been teaching a remedial math course at night for a local apprenticeship company. As I raced out of school to make it over for 3 more hours of teaching, all of my lists of the tasks still waiting for me at home were running through my head . I was planning how I could squeeze in a few emails while my students (whom I affectionately refer to as my construction men) were on break and just how many tests I could grade while waiting for the copier to spit out the remaining worksheets I needed for the evening. Then I walked into the classroom and was welcomed with an eerie sense of quiet. My typically boisterous group seemed sullen and didn’t respond to my burst of enthusiasm with their typical sheepish smiles. A few gave me wistful grins before someone quietly let me know that one our class members wouldn’t be joining us tonight. He was in a serious car accident earlier in the week on his way to work…he is fine, but the accident claimed the lives of 2 others. He was driving alone and had merged into another car with his construction vehicle. Investigations were conducted and even the experts confirmed…this was nothing more than a tragic accident…a man who didn’t see anything in his blind spot and in a moment switched lanes into another swiftly moving vehicle. There will be no charges and he’s been cleared to work…but no one has seen him since. Until tonight.

He walked in to talk to me during our break. Tonight was our penultimate class and he wasn’t up to staying but he wanted to make arrangements to take his final next week at a different time, when he wouldn’t have to sit with a roomful of people staring at him while he worked. I know that medically speaking it’s impossible to witness a heart breaking or for a person to walk around and function with one, but I can tell you after tonight I’d argue that it happens. I watched this big, burly man crumble as he gathered up the word problem and measurement worksheets I had so diligently crossed off my to-do list just an hour earlier. And as I watched him walk away, my plans for the evening immediately changed. I ended class earlier than usual. I told the guys to go home and spend time with their families…or even just go catch up on some sleep. I had planned to stick around after they left to grade and write those emails I was drafting in my mind. Instead I picked up my bags and walked out the door. I called my mom for the first time in days. I filled my poor punctured tire with air and then I drove to visit a friend whom I haven’t seen in far too long. (I’ll call her the Crafting Queen.) We caught up over a bean burrito (hers…still no safe tortillas for me!) and a cup of hot apple cider (mine). I returned home and took a moment to upload all the pictures from my ACE reunion at Notre Dame and revisited the joy and smiles of last weekend. And now I’m writing this. As many people pointed out this weekend, I haven’t written in awhile. This is one of those things that has elusively shifted from to-do list to to-do list and yet, like laundry, has remained undone. But tonight made me realize that it just shouldn’t be that way.

Yes, life involves a certain amount of crazy. There’s no denying that. Our to-do lists are too long, our stress levels are too high, and of course the occasional sleepless night is inevitable…but that shouldn’t be the norm. I realized tonight that trying to emulate the Energizer bunny isn’t something to be proud of. After all, he just blindly drums his way through life and doesn’t get to actually experience anything as he just keeps going and going. We never know what life is going to throw our way, when we might suddenly feel complete derailed, or when we might be forced to be that person attempting to navigate life with a heart that is completely broken, even if an EKG doesn’t say so.

So tonight I am pressing pause on my to-do list. I am curled up on my couch with a hot cup of tea. I am going to bed before midnight. And before I do, I will spend time in prayer for the growing number of people in my life who are dealing with physical illness, emotional brokenness, or some combination of the two. I will read a chapter of the book I’ve been trying to read since September. And I will sleep without a to-do list post-it next to my bed. I won’t even let myself make a mental one.

Yes, I’ll wake up tomorrow morning with a longer list of tests that need to be graded, emails that need to be written, plans that need to be finished, papers that need to be filed, projects that need to be coordinated, etc…but those things aren’t going anywhere. (Trust me, sometimes I wish they would!) So take it from me, take a minute today to stop. Just think about your to-do lists (or novels as the case may be). Are there things on that list that keep getting bumped lower and lower on the list? Things like sleeping, writing, visiting family, drinking a cup of tea, sharing good conversation with a close friend, going for a run, spending quality time with someone you love, sharing exciting/delicious recipes with your food-intolerant friends, etc. Make those your priority this weekend. If you can’t do them all, at least pick one. Those other things aren’t going anywhere…I promise they’ll be there when you come back to them. My bags filled with papers, grading, plans, and lists are already sitting waiting for me next to the door. But I won’t be touching them until morning. And when I do it will be with a homemade Katie-safe pumpkin spice latte in my hand as I walk out the door. Yes, I finally mastered it 3 weeks ago…and it’s been on my to-do list to share it with you…guess what got bumped?? (You have my sincere apologies..here it is!)

1 cup coconut milk (I used SO Delicious barista-style coconut milk)

1/3 cup pumpkin

about 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice blend

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

I added maple syrup, coconut sugar, and honey to taste

I heated all of this together on the stove and then poured it over a cup of STRONG brewed coffee. Then I used my new frother to mix it, sprinkled some nutmeg on top, and life was suddenly AMAZING. You’re welcome 🙂

Pure Deliciousness 🙂

I’ll face another day in the life of Energizer Katie. Only tomorrow I’m going to make sure to leave room on that to-do list for gratitude…because I’m fortunate enough to have a heart that is still intact and, at least for this moment in time, a body which isn’t attacking itself. And considering once upon a time (AKA last March) that alone was the one thing on my to-do list…I’d say I’m doing pretty well.

This is hanging in my new apartment…but it never seemed as true as tonight.

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We’ve All Got Bruises…

Posted on October 13, 2013March 5, 2019 by katiebiddle4317

…some of us more than others. I’ve been battling a bit of a B-12 deficiency so my bruises are quite numerous at the moment. Those of you who can’t eat dairy, do yourself favor: take B-12!

All from a little plastic grocery bag…B-12 has just become a dear friend in my life

The rest of you, keep reading too; I’m not just talking about physical bruises. Listen to my friend Train here if you need a little background theme song as you read: Bruises

If you’ve found your way to reading this, I know without a doubt that you have embraced the world of technology. Obviously I have too. However, I’ve been living without internet at my house now for almost 3 weeks and my goodness, has it given me quite a bit to ponder. Granted, it’s also given me the gift of time in which to do that pondering. I mean I knew I loved pinterest, but it’s not until you’re without internet that you realize just how much time you spend pinning, scrolling through facebook, catching up on pop culture “news”, etc. I’ve been so much more productive at home, I’ve spent more time reading (actual books…with paper and everything!), I don’t get distracted by news stories on my way to the ND prayer site and then forget to actually pray, and best of all: I’ve been asleep by 10 almost every night…no more, “Oh I’ll just peruse pinterest for 5 minutes before I go to sleep”. That’s OK, you can say it: “Yeah right, Katie. Famous last words”. I have to say this whole internet drought has been one of the biggest unexpected blessings…and just when I needed it most.

Now, before you get too nervous or start thinking I’m a hypocrite (because clearly if I posted this then I haven’t totally abandoned the world of information technology), I am not one of those people who shuns modern advances and will spend the rest of this post criticizing anyone who does for all the world’s problems (I mean clearly the government shutdown must have some correlation to the exponential growth of twitter right??). I love technology. I love how it has transformed my classroom. I love how easily my kids can access information about the great minds of math and locate Pope John Paul II’s encyclical on the rosary (seriously, I was alive in 2002 and I never read it until 2 weeks ago). I love that GoogleEarth can take us from Towson to Rome and back…all before lunchtime. I love what technology can do in my own life too. I love that I can pay all my bills without the treachery of envelopes (remember envelope glue = gluten = 1 very sick Katie), I love that I can find recipes at a moment’s notice, and of course that I can stay in touch with amazing friends who have decided to scatter themselves all across this great country. (I promise this isn’t some plug for Google, but in all seriousness: Google Hangout = BEST thing ever. It’s like being back in our dorm room all together again even though we’re miles and miles apart.)

In a nutshell, I think technology is great. However, I do think it has been accompanied by a whole host of unintended consequences. That list alone could probably fill a novel but I’m particularly focused on one aspect at the moment. Please bear with me while I try to explain. I think back to when I was a kid. When we went on a family vacation, we always had a camera in tow. We would do our best to capture the memories and hold onto those family moments, ones which became increasingly meaningful as my dad’s health declined. We had some amazing trips…but of course no matter how wonderful HersheyPark , or a beach weekend on Long Island, or a family adventure through NYC turned out to be, it was the car ride home which inevitably did us in. Someone was singing too loud, someone was taking pleasure in antagonizing someone else, someone was getting carsick, and someone was usually having a silent anxiety-induced meltdown about traffic, the amount of gas remaining in the tank, and the likelihood of breaking down on the side of the road in 90 degree weather, among other things. (I won’t even make you guess…that last one was me.) They were less than perfect drives for sure….but still the ones I now remember and look back on fondly. Of course, we would get home and what did we do? Send the film off in those little canisters to be developed (I know, I’d almost forgotten about those days too). The pictures came back a week or so later and by then all the bad memories of the trip had already faded from our minds and only the highlights were discussed at dinner or written about in school journal entries. Then as we sifted through the newly arrived photos, the inevitable “messy” ones would surface: you know the kinds: someone looks angry, someone is crying, someone’s finger is covering the lens cap, etc. and for a brief moment we remembered some of the “less than perfect” moments…and we laughed about them. Of course when the pictures were then compiled into an album, those “less than stellar” ones usually found their way to the trash…or at least to the “assorted photos we never really look at” box. When the photo album was shared at the next family gathering, all anyone saw was smiling faces, brotherly/sisterly love, picturesque sunsets…the perfect family vacation.

Am I saying there is anything wrong with that? Absolutely not! The point of albums and scrapbooks is to highlight our good memories, not the ones we’d much rather forget. The problem is that in today’s world, it’s not just an occasional album that gets censored; it’s an everyday occurrence. First of all, the “less than perfect” pictures don’t even make it past 2 minutes of existence. I saw it at least a dozen times when I lived in DC. During an afternoon walk around the mall, “Ma’am can you please take our picture?” turned into a 10 minute process. Each picture was immediately available for view, critiqued, and deleted within moments until the “perfect” picture was the only one left on the camera. And now so few people have cameras that it’s on a cameraphone. Well then you know as well as I do what’s about to happen….in moments it will be off in cyperspace. Those perfect smiling faces in a picturesque sunset beneath the cherry blossoms will be filling up Faceboook newsfeeds, Twitter, and Instagram within moments. No one will ever know that just minutes earlier Mom had been crying, Dad was chasing their son and narrowly saved him from slipping off the ledge into the Tidal Basin as he was trying to feed a mallard, and their little daughter had made them all red in the face when she loudly commented on a rather robust woman who was walking past. But honestly, those are the moments I bet they’ll be laughing about in 2 years when they reminisce about their DC vacation.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about all of this during my weeks without internet and about the current state of affairs in our world…and something really struck me. I’m not saying that this alone is the source of our increased anxiety level as a society (goodness knows there are innumerable contributing factors for that) but think about it for a moment. Family photo albums and stories used to be shared on sporadic occasions throughout the year: holidays, annual summer visits, etc. Now those photos and “memories” are shared constantly- often in realtime before they’ve had a chance to even qualify as memories. That means all of us are bombarded multiple times a day with seemingly perfect pictures, status updates, tweets, etc. that make it seem like everyone we know is living the perfect life. Someone has a new job they love, someone else has a significant other who has become serious enough to earn a place in their profile picture, there’s another new engagement ring that could put the Hope Diamond to shame, a new handful of engaged couples have updated their statuses to married each weekend and their gorgeous bridal party photos look like something out of a magazine, everyone’s children seem to be impossibly cute and well-behaved as their smiles beam off the computer screen. Every time we log on, it’s easy to feel as if our seemingly mundane, and certainly very flawed, existence can’t possibly measure up to the fairy tale lives these pictures depict. Well, you know as well as I do that it isn’t true. Those pictures and statuses don’t reveal the 13 failed job interviews, the 6-month separation that preceded the reunion and engagement, the weeks spent arguing over bridesmaid attire, or the endless hours of crying and tantrums that preceded that adorable baby picture.

The reality is that none of us have a life that could fit the dictionary definition of perfect. If we did, we wouldn’t be human. It’s just that these days the pressure, not even to be perfect, but just to APPEAR perfect is greater than ever. Does technology deserve all the blame? Well, that I don’t know. What I do know is that we’re heading down a dangerous path. I for one don’t want to live in a world where everyone is afraid of making mistakes and being true to who they are. And if you could see my apartment right now, you’d see just how imperfect I am. It’s been almost a month here and my living room is still full of boxes I haven’t unpacked! Am I posting pictures of my unfinished abode, complete with empty boxes and milk crate furniture? Nope. Why not? That’s a great question. It’s the reality of moving for sure and everyone knows it so why do we choose not to share that…but then to share the polished photos of furnished apartments, which everyone also knows? I think the answer to that question is simple. At least for me it is. I long ago gave up on trying to be perfect; I know that I am flawed all the time, and that sometimes I’m even completely broken. However, I don’t share that brokenness with just anyone. I am blessed to have people in my life with whom I can share that brokenness…but the cyberworld of facebook friends is not one of them.

That’s the hole I made in my otherwise beautiful-looking bookshelf…

So if I’m not comfortable sharing my brokenness with these people, why do I care to share my joy and accomplishments? Another great question. That answer I really just don’t know. Maybe it’s because I am so excited I need to share my joy and it’s so easy to share with social media? Maybe it’s because I feel a subconscious need to share the same successes I’ve seen others share? I don’t know…but what I DO know is that in these weeks that I’ve been disconnected from the internet, I’ve been much better at picking up the phone and sharing things with people one-on-one. I’ve even been better at face-to-face conversation. Now I’m not saying everyone should stop sharing posts, pictures, and news via social media. Goodness knows I’d count that as another perk of technology. I LOVE poring over wedding photos of couples I watched come together but haven’t seen since college. I LOVE seeing that the proposal we’ve all been waiting and hoping for has finally come to fruition, I LOVE smiling at the antics of adorable children in those quickly-snapped iPhone shots. I WANT to share in the joy of other people’s big moments and successes; in fact I NEED to. I’m one of those people who draws true joy and excitement from witnessing the joy of those around me. However, what I think we all need is a reminder. So this is me reminding you: No, you are not perfect. But neither is anyone else.If they were, they wouldn’t be human and that creates another whole host of issues. We all make mistakes .We are all flawed. We are all broken. Sometimes we’re the ones smiling beautifully in a picturesque sunset; other times we’re the one yelling and desperately diving to keep a son from diving into the Tidal Basin.

As proof of my point, I want to share some imperfect moments with you. I’ve read many a blog with delicious-sounding recipes and pictures of succulent dishes that would make your mouth water. I’m willing to bet that was not the first time that person had attempted the particular recipe. So prepare to feast your eyes on my instances of imperfection…

My first attempt at “Katie-safe” creamer…

My first (terrible) batch of gluten-free/dairy-free/egg-free pancakes…

Those were supposed to be brownies. Though they did still taste pretty good!

So those of you struggling with new food restrictions and failing in your attempts at new foods: fear not. You’re completely normal. Don’t give up, keep experimenting….and you never know what deliciousness you may end up with!

My first successful batch of pumpkin bread in my new allergen-free kitchen. Totally worth the failed batches 🙂

So regardless of where you are in the ebb and flow of life, or the pendulum of penalty as some like to say, there is nothing wrong with imperfection. Love it, embrace it, and let it shape you into the person you’re meant to become. No closet is empty of skeletons and even the purest of human hearts isn’t void of blemish. We’ve all been wounded and we’ve all hurt someone else. Regardless of your age, you’re on a journey so embrace your imperfection as a catalyst for growth. Really, it’s all in how you handle your imperfections and flaws. As one of my favorite quotes says,

Thanks to Emily Ley for her words of wisdom. And to another co-worker for passing it along. We’ll call her the Ebullient English Educator. Seriously…what a staff 🙂

And don’t worry about the “perfection” you sometimes feel is everywhere. Trust me, it’s not. As Train so eloquently puts it, “We’ve all got bruises” So go face the day and strive, not for perfection, but for grace.

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There’s No Place Like…

Posted on September 29, 2013March 5, 2019 by katiebiddle4317

“Miss Burke, don’t you remember?? It was a Tuesday and we got ANOTHER brand new schedule and you told us that nothing is constant in life except for change. Well, and Jesus…you added him in there too.”

Of course my honest answer to that question was no. I actually have no recollection of the conversation…but I will admit it certainly sounds like something I would say so I believe him. (Don’t you just love when kids remember every detail of every word that came out of your mouth a year later? Of course it’s rarely the conversations you actually wanted them to remember…or at least the ones you planned for them to hold onto. But such is the life of a teacher or parent I suppose.) One of my astute 6^thgraders said those words to me last week. I was lucky enough to move up with my 5^th graders from last year so I have a feeling we’re in for a year full of similar statements. It’s funny because just 2 days later, I finally had a moment to sit and relax (in the doctor’s office…where else?) and his words came back to me.

As any teacher can relate, September is a month when the concept of “constant change” is profoundly real. Gone are the students we had last June…the ones we knew so well: every quirk, charm, triumph, and struggle. Even those of us who are lucky enough to move up with our kids realize that in 3 months, so much has changed. Their hairstyles are different, they suddenly stand eye level with you, and even their conversation skills seem to have improved exponentially over the summer. Yes, change has certainly earned itself a place next to taxes, iPhone upgrades, and bitter Taylor Swift-breakup songs on the list of things that just keep reappearing no matter how hard you try to stop them. (Seriously, if I have to hear one more comment about IOS7…please remember there are some of us who still haven’t given in to the iPhone obsession yet. Sorry, rant over 🙂)

Somehow it’s already been 3 months since the corn diagnosis was added to the list. After my appointment this past week, I returned to that same bench where I sat 3 months earlier with my “it’s all going to be OK” iced coffee. Funny how returning to a familiar place makes you starkly aware of just how much has changed. The last time I sat on this bench, I was sweating in a matter of minutes as I sat baking in the June sun. Today I was bundled in a sweater waiting for my boiling hot cup of “See, I told you it would be OK” coffee to be cool enough to sip without rendering my tastebuds ineffective for a few days. I sat on that bench and did something I hadn’t done in almost a month: I just sat. I didn’t make lists, I didn’t pack, I didn’t grade papers, I didn’t take out my phone and check messages or scroll through the news. I just unplugged and enjoyed the silence. I looked at the tree where I had sought shade back in June when I was so certain that the sunglare had to be the reason I was misreading the corn allergen list. I remember the simultaneous sense of panic and acceptance I felt that morning and I thought about how much my life has changed over the past 12 weeks. I thought about the number of times I’ve heard the phrase, “But honey, corn is in everything”. Even at an allergy expo. Yes, I know. The corn subsidies have in fact made their direct impact on my life.

To be honest, it’s been harder than I thought it would be. I’ve had a few incidents of unintentional corn byproduct consumption that have left me with no doubt that the doctors got it right this time. I bought ANOTHER set of brand new pots and pans. I have new plates, new utensils, and now even a new kitchen. Yes, that’s right….despite my best efforts to co-exist in a regular kitchen, it was decided that my growing list of food issues made life in a shared kitchen just too treacherous to be considered safe. So after finally settling into a new classroom in late August and adjusting to my schedule of teaching 3 brand new classes (and 1 that I taught last year), I found myself in a whirlwind 2 weeks of packing up my life and moving everything a mile down the road to my own apartment. Many a trip back and forth with a loaded-down Ford Focus, let me tell you. Talk about a crazy month. (Needless to say, sleep and I have not seen much of each other lately and I miss it more than I can possibly explain.) I’ve learned that one does not have to actually be homeless to feel that way. One of the hardest questions at the doctor’s office last week was “What is your address?” What do you say when you’re between homes? I settled on “Well, it will be…” and left it at that. As you can tell, change has pretty much been my most faithful friend over the past 33 days since the school year began. Granted, I would be remiss if I let you think it’s been my ONLY faithful friend. I have been reminded yet again how truly blessed I am by friends who drop everything on a Sunday morning to lug heavy furniture out of a UHaul or show up at my door with furniture, appliances, lamps, gift cards… and hugs/listening ears/crying shoulders when it all gets to be too much.

(Sorry, I have to interject this little aside: while we’re on the subject…does anyone else see an issue with the whole registry tradition these days?? I don’t know many people who live with their parents until they get married so I really would like to advocate for a “I’m a single-20-something trying to furnish my own apartment” registry category. Then when it comes time for my wedding (assuming I find a co-pilot that is), I won’t ask for a thing besides a hug and a smile. And maybe a dance. I can assure you by the time that day comes, I literally won’t need a thing for my house. Well, except maybe this:

Do you see that?? Now with a gluten-free setting!!

Regardless, change is once again upon all of us as summer has officially come to an end. The air is crisp, the leaves are just starting to change, and the dreaded Sunday of changing clocks back is just about a month away. Fall is here. And since October 1^st , AKA my 4^thfavorite day of the year (because it marks the start of my absolute favorite ¼ of the year…October, November, December) is almost upon us, I am here to share some examples of how fantastic change can be. Here are some recipes for pumpkin chocolate chip muffins AND pumpkin coffee creamer!! Gluten-free, dairy-free, corn-free…and still DELICIOUS. And probably far better for you than those artificial “pumpkin” flavored things on the store shelves. Seriously, pick one up….see how many actually list pumpkin as an ingredient. I know, scary….Fortunately I managed to master these 2 weeks ago before I had to pack up my kitchen.

The fun begins!

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins:

· ¾ cup almond flour

· ½ cup canned pumpkin

· ½ tsp baking soda

· ½ tsp baking powder*

· ¾ tsp pumpkin spice

· 2 eggs**

· ½ tsp vanilla extract***

· 1/4 cup maple syrup

· pinch of salt

Enjoy Life chocolate chips…as many as you want!!

*baking powder has corn so I just mix baking soda and cream of tartar to make my own. It’s a 2:1 ratio (teaspoons) so I just mix a bunch and keep it on hand.

**If you can’t have eggs (I can eat them baked in things but not outright), mix 3 tablespoons of water with 1 tablespoon of ground flaxseed. I call it an art not a science, so I can’t guarantee the outcome…I didn’t try it with this particular recipe.

***VANILLA EXTRACT HAS CORN. Except for 1 brand: Frontier. So either get that one (sorry, McCormick, I’m still your loyal fan for everything else) or make your own.

Seriously…just buy stock in McCormick now. I think my purchases alone will bring it up a few cents 🙂

Mmmm…delicious!

Pumpkin Coffee Creamer!!:

2 cups of Almond Milk (I used vanilla!)

4 tablespoons of canned pumpkin (I’d add more but that’s just me)

1 teaspoon of Cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon of Nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon of Allspice

**OR just use pumpkin pie spice again and add some nutmeg!**

4 tablespoons Maple Syrup (I’ve heard mixing in some agave syrup is good but I didn’t have any so I didn’t)

I boiled it all together on the stove and then put it in the fridge to cool. AMAZING. Smell and taste!

Ready for October!

I hope these recipes will only add to the wonderful-ness that is fall: pumpkin patches, apple picking, apple cider slushies!! These are all things I’m looking forward to and luckily I can still have. Granted I know it will continue to be a season of changes. For me, in particular as I settle into my new life. I’ve officially lived in my new apartment (and by that I mean slept there) for 3 nights now…and I certainly have a LONG way to go before it feels like home. However, I will say I’m also excited about all that lies ahead. I’m excited to organize, bake, have people over for meals/tea/treats, etc.

And I’m already excited to sit in this same spot on my couch 3 months from now, surrounded by the remnants of recent Christmas celebrations and staring out at bare trees (and maybe, just maybe a little snow??) and think about how much has changed…And how hopefully I’ll finally feel like I’m home. (And maybe I’ll even have sprung for internet by then so I’ll be able to post from the couch too!)

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Today is a Fairy Tale…

Posted on September 10, 2013March 5, 2019 by katiebiddle4317

You know how every once in awhile something happens where you just feel as if the stars are aligning or the universe has conspired to send you a message that just fits in so perfectly with where you are in life that you have to step back and say whoa?? Today was one of those days for me. See I just got back from a whirlwind weekend celebrating my grandparents’ 60^thwedding anniversary with my family. These 2 have a love story that it seems only Hallmark movies are made of these days: he was an immigrant from Ireland who stepped off a boat in New York Harbor not knowing a soul aside from his own siblings and father who had taken the trip with him. She was 1 of 4 children born into a first-generation Irish Catholic family in New York City. They met at a dance…you know the kind that happened every weekend in 1950s New York… and the rest is history. 3 children, 7 grandchildren, and 3 great-grandchildren later, they’ve seen it all. I had a particularly lengthy chat with my grandfather about their story the night before the celebration and at one point he made an offhand comment somewhere (he tends to ramble more and more these days :-)) about how things weren’t always easy over the years and so he figures “people wouldn’t exactly call it a fairy tale, you know what I mean…but I can tell you I wouldn’t change a thing”.

60 years together…and he wouldn’t change a thing 🙂

For some reason, that comment stuck with me, and even the next morning as I sat in mass, I kept thinking about what he had said. I thought about it as I watched them throughout the celebration and again as I drove the stretch of 95 between New Jersey and Baltimore. I decided my grandpa was onto something (and maybe Taylor Swift too…but I don’t think I’ll ever be willing to admit it:-) maybe an ordinary life…or even just an ordinary day… can be considered a fairy tale. And maybe that can be even more true on a food allergy journey. In another twist of fate (or God’s providential plan, whichever you prefer…you know my vote) there had been a huge gluten-free, allergy-free expo just a few miles from my grandparents’ house this weekend.

After my early morning mass, I trekked over to the Expo center where I was swept into a world where I suddenly wasn’t the odd one out; where everyone understood that you would never consider popping something into your mouth until carefully scrutinizing the label; where people you have never met…and most likely never will again…speak like old friends, naturally exchanging terms like “cross-contamination”, “parts per million”, and “dedicated production lines”; where for just a brief moment you feel normal…and it’s the people without allergies who seem to be out of place, wandering from booth to booth with a confused, glazed-over look I imagine we allergy-sufferers typically wear when confronted with a new, non-allergen-specific restaurant. I couldn’t contain my excitement as I found gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, corn-free items (from here on, I’ll refer to them more simply as Katie-safe): everything from bread to cookies to ice cream cones…even soft pretzels!! I was so excited the vendor gave me extra powdered sugar for free!!

Can anyone say Puppy Chow?? Or Muddy buddies…I’m still not sure why it has 2 names!

Then I was so excited about the gluten-free picture book I found that the author signed one for me to bring to my classroom library!! Granted, my days of middle school teaching probably mean I won’t be reading it aloud anytime soon…but still, I was excited. Not to mention, it renewed my interest in a long-since-abandoned childhood dream of one day writing a children’s book.

Yes, all in all, it was a magical day. And it was only about to get better as the celebration of my grandparents’ real life fairy tale began. After a beautiful day of laughter, love, and trips down memory lane, I hit the highway. As I drove I thought about those textbook-definition fairy tales. You see, I know quite a bit about fairy tales. Though I’m now known as a math and religion teacher, I spent my first two years of teaching in a self-contained 2^nd grade classroom where the best part of my day was teaching Reading (and Phonics) to students who were far below grade level. By far, my favorite unit I taught in those 2 years was our integrated Reading and Writing unit on fairy tales. That’s right: fairy tales are a 2^nd grade Language Arts standard (at least it was in DC back then in the pre-Common Core-days). I loved every minute of it: I probably know enough about the various ethnic versions of Cinderella to give Ken Jennings a run for his money in a head-to-head Jeopardy match-up. During my long drive back to Baltimore yesterday, I kept thinking back on that unit. I had just opened the files on my computer earlier in the week after the Savvy Speechwriter (remember him??) paid a visit to my classroom (though I guess now we can also call him the Charismatic Mass Coordinator since we were planning a mass and not a speech) and pulled my copy of Korean Cinderella off the bookshelf. Our subsequent conversation triggered memories of spring mornings spent poring over various fairy tales and afternoons of Writer’s Workshop as my kids composed their own (very entertaining) original fairy tales. See, our school was closing its doors for good at the end of that school year and I still remember the poignant moments while proofreading one of those original fairy tales about how at the last minute, a magical fairy godfather (can you tell the author was a boy?) was going to swoop in and save our school…in exchange for 7 bags of Doritos…and we’d all live happily ever after.

Technically speaking, a fairy tale consists of all the components below:

That’s right…I still have my fairy tale Writer’s Workshop checklist from all those years ago!

If that’s the case, I guess one could argue that no real-life events or experiences can be truly defined as a fairy tale…but I beg to differ. Let’s take my journey:

At least one good character: ME! And of course all those Saints in Street Clothes 🙂
A bad character: Gluten. Enough said. Ok, and casein. And soy. And corn.
A problem and solution: Katie getting sicker and sicker, passing out WAY too often, and spending far too much time in St. Joe’s Hospital….until the magical endoscopy! (AND there’s the magic!)
Royalty:If that doctor of mine isn’t enough to qualify, I don’t know what is. The man figured me out…and gave me Scope. What more do I need??
Things happen in 3s and 7s: Um, remember the autoimmune trifecta??
Just throw in the special words and you’ve got yourself the framework for quite a fantastic fairy tale!!

(Do you see why I loved teaching 2^nd graders to write?? Think of the possibilities just from that prompt!) And the best part is you can do it too! Just fill in your own characters and problems, figure out the missing pieces, and get to work. Granted yours is living, not just writing, but you get the idea. And it doesn’t have to be limited to an allergy journey of course! Maybe you’re battling the demon of a difficult job search/situation, a floundering relationship, the loss of someone important in your life, a seemingly impossible decision, etc. All of these things can still have a happy ending in due time. It’s just sometimes it takes longer to get there than we’d like.

When I think about my grandfather’s point, I think it is quite possible to live happily ever after on a small-scale basis. Is my allergy journey over? Of course not. I know the days ahead are full of reading labels, cleaning counters, packing an absurd amount for even small trips, being a high-maintenance guest, and of course toting around mouthwash…but that doesn’t mean I can’t have happily ever after moments along the way. Honestly, I think it’s why running has become so important to me. When I was at the lowest of the low back in 2011, I used to dream about being well enough to run the team relay of the Baltimore marathon with my 3 college roommates. During tests and bloodwork, I would think about crossing that finish line…a lofty goal for someone who struggled to walk up and down the stairs of my apartment some mornings…but come October, I did it. For me, that day was a fairy tale.

Happy ending #1 in my new gluten-free life 🙂

Then I did the same thing again a few months later with some ACE friends:

Tutus, friends, and feeling healthy: fairy tale day if you ask me!

And then a year later it repeated itself when I managed to run the 1/2 marathon!

We didn’t even plan to match!

The same could be said for the race I ran just this past weekend. I first “ran” this annual 5K at my school 2 years ago. I had not yet been cleared by my doctor to run (or even walk alone for long periods of time) so the Saint in Shorts and a T-Shirt agreed to walk with me…and even then we had to cut the course short. In the 2 years since, I’ve been lucky enough to run that course…all 3.1 miles of it…but that first year of walking is never far from my mind. Running that race is a happily ever after for me…something I once only dreamed of doing that seems routine to so many.

Running across the finish line a year after not even walking across!

So, in short, I’d say I think my grandfather is right. (I mean I usually do take his word on pretty much everything…he has quite a few decades of wisdom to share) Life CAN be a fairy tale, both in the longterm and on a daily basis. We just have to remember to be on the lookout for simple joys, unexpected blessings which seem to defy explanation, and of course those “once upon a time” beginnings and those “happily ever after” endings. Dream about them, work towards them, celebrate them when they come, and most importantly encourage others in their pursuit of them too.

Now remember what I said at the beginning of this post? How sometimes life seems to conspire to get a message across?? Well, you think I just meant having all these coincidental events back-to-back in the past week (the Charismatic Coordinator with the Cinderella book prompting the trip down memory lane, then meeting the gluten-free children’s author, followed by my grandfather’s offhand remark) was enough? So did I. And then I walked into my classroom this morning (WAY too early after a weekend away from schoolwork) and pulled the page off my daily calendar to see this:

Today’s daily calendar page!
Granted when I first read it, I thought it said “Life gives us a fairy tale” not love, but still…

Coincidence?? I just don’t know. Defies explanation to me. I guess that means I better get to work on my children’s book/gluten-free fairytale.

But for tonight I’ll just be getting ready for another ordinary day: lesson planning, grading, making copies, opening jammed lockers…and living happily ever after. One day at a time.

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The Sights and Sounds of the Season…

Posted on September 1, 2013March 5, 2019 by katiebiddle4317

Ah yes, everywhere you look the sights and sounds of the season are upon us. You know the ones I mean: bright unscuffed tennis shoes and blinding white saddle shoes, freshly sharpened pencils with uneroded pink erasers, ads filled with unbelievable prices from 25 cent crayons to 50 cent Sharpies (50 cents!! I bought 2 of every color!) School bells ring, diesel engines idle next to you at the red light, traffic seems to multiply exponentially…yes, it’s the week I affectionately refer to as simultaneously the best and worst week of the calendar year: Back to School.

See, I went right from a student desk to the teacher desk so I’ve literally never had a year of my life after age 5 which didn’t involve going “Back to School” in some way, shape, or form. As a kid, it was my favorite week for a lot of reasons: I LOVED school, I LOVED learning, I LOVED buying new crisp notebooks and picking out which Disney character would adorn my new hard plastic lunchbox for the year (not to mention who can forget those fantastic thermoses that were included in those lunch boxes! Whatever happened to those?? Apparently they sell on eBay these days for $30!) I loved how we would clandestinely double or triple bag our groceries in brown bags for the entire month of August in an effort to build up our family stockpile of brown bag book covers. 3 kids = a LOT of books and this whole stretchy BookSox craze had yet to take off back then. I loved strategically going to bed earlier and earlier for the last 3 weeks of August so we could get back into our school-year sleeping pattern (clearly you can see I took school VERY seriously…in fact I’m pretty sure this routine was entirely self-imposed from 4^thgrade on). I loved our annual 1^st Day of School photo routine (in fact I know for sure that was self-imposed in later years….and not at all appreciated by my younger brother) and that first walk back to the corner to wait for the school bus. In short, I LOVED Back to School Season.

You can tell those are the faces of people who LOVE the 1st Day of School. I’m pretty sure my level of excitement remained the same all year 🙂

Of course, there was also some anxiety associated with the Back to School season. Another new classroom to navigate, another new teacher to figure out, new classmates to meet, new routines to remember, and of course an endless pile of syllabi which made it seem as if we were going to cram a lifetime worth of learning into just 9 months. Not to mention fitting in Irish dance lessons and competitions, violin lessons, orchestra rehearsals, church choir, field hockey, yearbook, school musicals, and the rest of the now-seemingly-endless list of activities to which my mom was my chauffeur…and that was just my activities. Add in my sister’s myriad athletic talents, my brother’s passion for baseball, a few years of Scouting, and a handful of part-time jobs into the mix and it’s STILL a wonder to me how my mom managed to get us all to the right places at the right times.

Yes, Back to School time is full of fun, adventure, excitement, trepidation, stress, exhaustion…and these days, paperwork. You would not believe the amount of paperwork. Parents will attest they’ve probably signed their name more times in the past week than they have cumulatively all year. In a world where the legal system is an ever-expanding force, there are forms for EVERYTHING. And of course every form has to be different and carefully worded in ways you can’t imagine. There are forms for cell phones, photo releases, Kindles, iPods, computer usage, acceptable movie ratings, combination locks, walking to the end of the block, who is allowed to be contacted in case of emergency/who is NOT allowed to be told anything, access to online grades/homework websites…I am not exaggerating, there must be at least 12 forms for each student. At least. And mostly for things which didn’t even exist when I was in school. I’m not kidding: a student handed me her milk money and form this week and I almost hugged her. Milk money!! Finally something which hasn’t changed in the decade since I was in K-12 school.

My fellow 90s kids remember these. I bought this same one 2 years in a row,

Now I must say in recent years there has been an increase in a lot of forms, but that has never been more true than in regards to medical forms. You teachers will understand. You arrive at school in August anxiously awaiting your class list. (I swear the teachers really are more anxious about this process than the kids and parents waiting for the same information) You get your list and a file of scores from the year before, information sheets about math, language arts, and everything in between. Those are all vitally important of course, and things you’ll return to multiple times during the year as you plan engaging lessons. But there is another file that comes with it which has become equally important: the health folder. The number of health issues, particularly allergies, that these kids deal with nowadays is simply staggering. I’ll admit, in years past I always opened that folder with a deep breath…knowing that this moment would determine the stress level of field trips: how many EpiPens would have to be on hand at a moment’s notice? Who would I have to remind to leave class at specific times each day to pay a visit to the nurse? Or worse, in my 1^st school where we didn’t have a nurse…how many times a day would I remember to give essential medicines and tests to the little lives entrusted to my care? It always seems daunting, overwhelming, and some years downright scary. And yet somehow, a few weeks into the year, we had a routine and a system and I knew that I was fully capable of caring for even the most delicate of my newest set of kids.

There may be a lot to digest in those files…but you’ll figure it out!

I have to say ever since my own allergy roller coaster began, there are several things I wish I could do.

1) I wish I could find every child I’ve ever taught with an allergy and give them a hug. I had no idea what they were dealing with on a day-to-day basis. And they are just kids! I wish I could hug them and tell them I admire them far more than they’ll ever know.

2) I wish I could call every parent of a child I’ve taught with allergies and invite them into my classroom for a 1-on-1 meeting. I would let them talk for as long as they want about the potential hazards and dangers of their child’s condition. I mean don’t get me wrong, this happened on several occasions, but there usually came a point where I was thinking “OK, I get it. I know what your child can and cannot have. I’ll take care of them, please stop worrying and let’s all go home”. I want to apologize to them now because I realize I could not have been more wrong. Stop worrying?? First of all, I know no parent ever stops worrying…I think it comes with hospital bracelet but never comes off. But now that I have my own food allergies, I can’t even fathom the constant worry and fear parents live with for their child. I now understand that you can spend years scrutinizing labels, avoiding potentially cross-contaminated items, and painstakingly choosing restaurants based solely on allergy ratings…only to have 1 innocent mistake (crumbs left on a table, an unknown ingredient mixed into a snack, etc) turn an ordinary day into a life-or-death trip to the ER. I now understand that although the allergy was something I dealt with as a teacher for 8 hours a day, 180 days a year…that that was nothing compared to the lifetime of hours and days that those parents will spend as the expert on the allergy and as an advocate for their child.

3) I wish I could talk to the little 9-year-old girl to whom I once had to administer an Epi-Pen. In the midst of that chaotic moment, I still remember how calmly she looked into my eyes waiting for me to give her the medicine that could clear her airways. I remember how terrified I was and I remember thinking that she must be so calm because this has happened before so she’s used to it. I now realize that wasn’t true. You never get used to a reaction. If nothing else, it almost gets worse as you become more familiar with it…because you know what’s happening and how it’s going to feel. I want to thank her for somehow managing to stay so calm and for having such strong faith in me. And I want to tell her that all these years later, I haven’t forgotten her….and that I never will.

4) I wish I could gather every kid with food allergies before school starts and let them know that they are not alone. I wish I could tell them that they are my heroes because they understand that going Back to School is far more stressful than worrying about where your next class is or if your locker is going to open. It means trusting someone entirely new with your life. Literally. Day in and day out. Now I suppose that goes for all students with a new teacher to some degree…but it’s much more tangible and immediate for a child with an allergy or health condition.

Now unfortunately most of those things I can’t do. But there is one thing that I can do: say a few words to my fellow teachers. I know we’re all drowning at the moment in paperwork, updating class lists, creating class websites, memorizing student names, learning the various emergency/evacuation procedures, familiarizing ourselves with Common Core, trying to plan lessons, building a supportive classroom community, and of course somewhere in there finding time to get to know and love our kids…BUT there are a few things I’d like you to keep in mind.

1) READ THE HEALTH INFORMATION. I know how it goes during these crazy few weeks. You have to prioritize and things get pushed aside. That can’t be the case with health forms. I’m fortunate to work in a school with a phenomenal full-time nursing staff so I have wonderful, knowledgeable support…but still you are the one in the classroom. You are the first line of defense. Read the file and honestly, if you can, make time to call the parents of everyone in that file. I would never know that a gluten allergy means a child needs to beware of Elmer’s glue. Now that I have my own allergy I do, but take it from me, just the broad allergy listed doesn’t tell you much.

2) MAKE SURE THE STUDENTS KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO: I will be the first to admit I was a high-anxiety child. And I had no real reason to be. I can still remember sitting in class wondering what would happen if I fainted or threw up (unfortunately I found that out in the hall one day!). Now imagine sitting in a classroom or a cafeteria and knowing that the 2 people you rely on as your lifesavers should something happen (AKA Mom and Dad) are nowhere close. They need to know that you are well-prepared, well-aware, and more than ready to come to their aid should the need arise. Granted, this will change as kids get older and take more responsibility for their own allergy…but still, I can say I still like knowing that someone is around who knows what to do if I fall ill so I’m sure even 18-year-old boys feel the same way.

3) NEVER MAKE THEM FEEL SINGLED OUT: I could literally write a novel about this. I know sometimes this is unavoidable if your school as a nut-free table or some other policy that you’re required to follow. Obviously you’re limited by what the school or the parents have deemed fit. However, what you can control are other things: holiday celebrations, class projects, even service projects. For example, Valentine’s Day. When I was a kid, it was simple: you decorated a shoebox and spent the afternoon stuffing tiny cards with princesses or sports figures into a cut-out slot. Well, Valentines have come a long way my friends. Every single one involves a tiny gummy, a chocolate treat, or some form of sticker, tattoo, or body art. I don’t know why…but what it does mean is that Feb. 14^th has become a treacherous day for any of your students with allergies. No joke, last year on Feb. 13^th I stopped at the local Safeway to stock up on allergen-free treats for my trade-in bin and I saw 2 other women scrutinizing packages, one remarking “Nope, this one has Red#40 that won’t work” while the other was lamenting, “Ugh, shared equipment with tree nuts…great. And then this one works but there are only 18 and I have 19 kids!”. I looked at them both with a smile and said “Teachers?” They nodded and we shared a laugh and shook our heads at the impossibility of finding a treat which is actually safe for every student in a classroom.

So what do you do? Cancel every celebration? I don’t know about you but those are some of my best memories from grade school! You can make the decree that no candy is to be consumed until they get home and thus place the responsibility of removing the questionable candy on their parents’ shoulders…but you and I both know the likelihood of that candy making it all the way home without someone sneaking a bite. I always get a giant bowl of allergen-friendly candy for each specific allergy in my class and give those kids a chance to exchange anything questionable for something in the bowl. This lets them keep the element of choice so they’re not forced to eat one specific thing because of their allergy and it usually gets them excited. Of course, this has to be done after school or at some point where it doesn’t evoke mass chaos in the classroom. Again, it all depends on the age that you teach and how outspoken the student is about his or her allergy. Also, many parents are great about sending in things that are safe themselves so be in contact with parents regarding any upcoming days which might involve treats.

4) PLAN AHEAD: Just a few months ago, I was walking around a school during a service project and came across a group of kids standing by themselves in a hallway. I looked around but didn’t see an adult leader nearby. I wasn’t working at the school that day but you teachers know, that teacher part of you just never turns off. So I stopped and asked what they were doing. Immediately one of them answered, “We’re the peanut allergy group”. My surprise at the response must have been evident as one of the girls piped in, “Everyone is making sandwiches but we’re not allowed near the peanut butter”. As I stood there, my heart broke for these kids. Now, I know the organizers were putting safety first and keeping the kids safe. That is our first priority so kudos to you. But put yourself in their shoes for a minute. It’s hard enough to be 14 or 15 today to begin with and now you have to be in a group based on your allergy that sits in the hall with nothing to do while everyone else makes sandwiches?? Yeah, that’s what I thought…pretty miserable don’t you think? So plan ahead: have the group make different kinds of sandwiches. There are bound to be people with allergies consuming these sandwiches so vary the kinds you make so that these kids can still participate. Or if the organization you’re working with requires only peanut butter sandwich, these kids can still be involved! Let them put stickers on Ziploc bags or decorate brown bags (BEFORE the sandwiches go anywhere near them) so they’re still playing an active role in the project. Yes, it involves some extra work and foresight on your part but trust me, the payoff is well worth it.

5) WHEN IN DOUBT, ASK!!: The parents of your students with allergies or health concerns should become your best friends. I mean, not literally, but it should feel that way sometimes. TALK to them. ASK them questions. Invite them in to meet with you. Ask them for reading material, checklists, etc. Anything that they used to learn what was OK and not OK. Never make assumptions…always pick up the phone and check.

6) LOVE THEM…JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER STUDENT:Yes, it seems scary and overwhelming at first…but just remember every student comes with his or her unique qualities that make you fall in love year after year. A food allergy is just a tiny fraction of a child. Don’t ever let yourself remember a student as “the insert allergy here girl/boy”. For the 1^st week or 2 of school it may feel that way because it is the most important piece of information you learn that week. But in time you’ll see that there is so much more to that child. Focus on those things. Help him or her to see that a food allergy is not a defining characteristic, and that it never should be. Soon he or she will just be another one of your kids that you find yourself rambling on about at home or in social settings. I still love the confused looks I get every few weeks when I mention “my kids” around someone who immediately looks to my hand for a wedding ring and then make some kind of “you don’t look old enough to have kids” remark. Clearly not a teacher. Or a friend of teachers…they always understand 🙂

People with a lot of teacher friends always understand what “my kids” means. And they help you decorate your classroom to get ready for your new companions on the journey.

7) HAVE A GREAT SCHOOL YEAR!!! I promise these crazy first few weeks will be over before we know it and life will finally settle down. You only get 180 days with your kids…make the most of every single one 🙂

The calm/organization doesn’t last long…they’re on their way!!

HAVE A FUN-FILLED NEW YEAR!!!!

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It Was The Best of Seasons, Almost the Worst of Seasons, and Now…

Posted on August 10, 2013March 5, 2019 by katiebiddle4317

For those of us on the East Coast, today has brought a return to summer weather…but as WBAL-TV just reminded me, this is the first time in 18 days that the temperature at BWI has reached 90 degrees. That’s right 18 days! Those of you who have endured Baltimore/DC summers know just how rare a streak that is in late July and early August. This past week has brought rain, thunder, and more rain…but it was the week prior which had the most surprising weather. I walked out the front door one morning and was met by an unfamiliar feeling: cold. Not cold enough to go back in and change…but chilly compared to the warm, humid mornings I’d become accustomed to. The breeze in the air and the need for a light sweater had me suddenly overexcited for what I affectionately refer to the most wonderful time of the year: fall.

The best things happen in fall: a new school year, crisp mornings, jeans and cozy sweaters, crunchy leaves, corn mazes, apple-picking, candy corn, and of course: all things pumpkin. Now candy corn is long gone from that list and I’ve made my peace with that. But the one thing that has plagued me since the day they said no more dairy, soy, OR corn syrup was, “How in the world will I face fall without pumpkin spice lattes??”. When I say that I love them, it’s an understatement. I count down the weeks until October arrives…and some years I even break my own self-imposed rule and let myself get one in September. (Apparently they released them August 1st in most locations but I say that’s just crazytown!! August is SUMMER, not fall.) I save up my Starbucks gift cards all year for October and November. I treat myself once a week. (At least) And it’s not simply a taste thing. Yes, they’re delicious…but it’s more than that. Some of the best conversations I’ve had with friends have been accompanied by a pumpkin spice latte. From Philadelphia to DC to Birmingham to South Bend, and of course in Baltimore, many a life chat has taken place during a cool, brisk walk with a warm pumpkin spice latte in hand. It’s not just a drink, it’s an experience.

That’s right. One year, we went to 2 Starbucks because one ran out!

During my year teaching 3^rdgrade, even my kids knew about my profound love. We had a weeklong series of grammar warm-ups about it, they practiced their knowledge of cups, pints, and quarts in math class to help me “create” one, I was even the protagonist of many a creative-writing assignment, probably my favorite of which was “The Mystery of Miss Burke’s Disappearing Pumpkin Spice Latte” (it’s as if he knew what the future had in store for me!!). Yes, my love is well-known. This was most recently evidenced by the number of people who sent me this ecard when it surfaced on pinterest.

Courtesy of http://www.someecards.com

Well, I’ll be honest….this year, I’ve been having mixed emotions about the impending seasonal change. You’ve probably been there: that feeling when you’re facing the first holiday without a certain loved one or in a new place that isn’t traditionally where you celebrate. Or maybe the feeling when you’re about to return to your college campus, your old high school, or even an old neighborhood where you grew up knowing full well that it won’t look the same and that the faces you see there will be unfamiliar ones. It’s a feeling of excitement dampered by trepidation; a feeling of wanting to find joy but knowing deep down that some level of disappointment is inevitable. That pretty much summarizes my sentiments toward Fall this year.

My plan was to spend the summer perfecting an allergen-free pumpkin spice latte (and all other things pumpkin: muffins, donuts, etc.). But summer had other plans and here we are in August, just a few short weeks from my favorite season, and if my calendar is any indication, time is already running short to do so. I expressed my momentary panic about this to my mom on the phone just the other night as I finished up a run in the unseasonably cool weather.

Well, mark your calendars. Today, August 9^th is a day which will forever be an important one in my life. After an unexpectedly stressful afternoon, I was ready to head to my 3 o’clock shift at the hospital. I knew I needed a coffee fix to right my attitude for the afternoon so I stopped at my favorite Baltimore coffee joint: Baltimore Coffee and Tea. I really believe just the scent that meets you at the door is enough to turn your day around.

If you haven’t tried Baltimore Coffee yet, PLEASE do yourself a favor 🙂

As I waited to pay for my large coffee, I noticed the woman in front of me was buying a bottle of pumpkin spice syrup. “Great, just what I needed today” was my first thought, “a reminder that fall will never be the same”. Then I stopped myself and thought “Wow, who is this negative Nancy and what did you do with Katie??”(Yep, life is pretty entertaining inside this brain.) So on my way out the door, I stopped at the syrup shelf. I picked up the pumpkin spice bottle thinking “Well, I guess I’ll see what’s in it and do my best to recreate it minus the corn syrup”. And that’s when the world stopped turning for a moment. And unlike all the other times this year, this time it was stopping because I was so happy I couldn’t believe my eyes. PURE CANE SUGAR!!! NO HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP! I committed the company who makes the syrup to memory and walked out the door thinking it had to be too good to be true. I drove to St. Joe’s, settled in at my desk, and held my breath as I googled away. And here is what I found:

WOOHOO!!!!

That’s right: gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan (that means no eggs to worry about!!!) and simple ingredients. I even called to double check that none of those flavors somehow involve corn: so far so good!! It was like the weight of the world flew off my shoulders. Forget the grumpiness I had been feeling just moments ago…I was flying high. And as I sit here looking up milk steamers and planning my now-much-easier pumpkin spice latte using coconut milk and Moninsyrup, I’m finally looking forward to fall the way I usually do: with unbridled excitement.

I’m already dreaming of the life chats I’ll have with friends over my new and improved pumpkin spice lattes (most likely in my kitchen this time since I’ll be making it from scratch)…or packed up in our to-go mugs so we don’t miss out on the “walk in the crisp air” component. I’m imagining walking out into a cool, crisp morning with my thermos of coffee and a quick pump of pumpkin syrup as I head off to another day of school. I’m once again excited by the prospect of picking apples, baking pumpkin-flavored treats, and bundling up in cozy sweaters (the corn maze I may skip…potentially hazardous being completely surrounded by the enemy). The best part is once I saw what is in those Starbucks syrups, well let’s just say I’m not so crazy about the idea of drinking one anymore anyway. Do yourself a favor, don’t look it up. Just wait for my recipe…or better yet, come visit and try one for yourself 🙂

This fall, I’ll recreate this with my own coffee mugs. That’s right, Starbucks, I don’t need your high-fructose corn syrup!! (But don’t worry, I do still love your plain coffee 🙂 )

So, soak up these last few weeks of hazy, hot, and humid summer days. I know I will be. But I’ll also be experimenting to find the perfect Monin syrup to coconut milk to spices ratio…and once I do, I’ll be posting the recipe here, just in time for those crisp October mornings. Or maybe late September if I’m anything like my 8-year-old self who had to give out Christmas gifts the day they were chosen and wrapped (even if it was Dec. 15^th.). Until then, I’ll be sitting here dreaming of fall…and basking in the happiness I found knowing that not even my crazy list of food allergies can take away my favorite season of all.

And thank you, Monin and Baltimore Coffee, for turning a not-so-great day into one of the best days I’ve had all year 🙂

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Katie and Chipotle: A Love Story

Posted on August 1, 2013March 5, 2019 by katiebiddle4317

Today begins what I affectionately refer to as the August Rush. (Not to be confused with the movie of the same name. Good movie, GREAT music score) To me the August Rush refers to those crazy few weeks in which school suddenly seems close enough that I have to entertain (not dwell on, just entertain) the thought of coming up with ideas, plans, and bulletin boards for the coming year but also far enough away that I want to squeeze every last drop of sun, fun, and friends as I can during these waning summer days. I’m deep in the heart of that right now…I had to close my planner yesterday because just looking at it made my head spin. So as I embark on 3 weeks of “last-drops-of-summer-break” squeezing, I must forewarn you that will probably mean less frequent posts. Then again, you never know. Sometimes exciting things happen that just need to be shared. One such event unfolded this past week. Get excited.

It seems hard to believe but it was only 3 years ago that I was finally introduced to the magic that is a Chipotle burrito. In the time since, Chipotle has certainly earned itself a prime place in my heart. In fact I had already told several people to prepare themselves for a Chipotle-catered rehearsal dinner one day. I mean delicious food, so many choices that everyone is bound to be pleased, AND everyone will end up feeling so stuffed they may not eat for another 24 hours, what more do you need?? Well, maybe everyone wearing these (http://www.zazzle.com/pi_love_tee_shirts-235741924053722449). But regardless. (Yes, I know, this is the same girl who gave you the independent, “I don’t need a co-pilot” speech last time…I still let myself dream once in awhile 🙂 )

As my food intolerance list grew during the spring, there were few things that remained stable in my life. I even had to briefly stop drinking coffee. (I shudder just thinking about it.) But Chipotle? That was always there. An oasis of delicious, allergy-safe options. Sure, I had to change my order, first to burrito bowls without the flour-filled wraps, then minus the cheese once dairy was out of the picture, but still I was always in my glory there. Safe, filling food AND I could even eat their corn chips! They have a dedicated fryer (unlike Qdoba). Can you see why a little piece of my heart belongs to the lovely folks at Chipotle??

That’s right…a dedicated fryer means gluten-free chips 🙂

Well, obviously the “no-more-corn” news threw me for a loop. No more perfectly-salted/hint-of-limed tortilla chips for this girl. But I comforted myself with the thought of a delicious heaping burrito bowl. Until I pulled up their allergen information just to double check (in my mind thinking, you never know where corn could be hiding). I was greeted by my favorite allergen info greeting:

“No matter what your unique dietary needs are, Chipotle has options for you. Unless you have an allergy to delicious food, in which case, we might have an issue”- Chipotle

“So funny Chipotle, thank goodness I don’t have an allergy to that yet”, I chuckled to myself as I read on to find the convenient allergen chart. Well, at that moment my poor Chipotle-loving heart sank to the floor: SOY. There is soybean oil EVERYWHERE. There were literally only 3 safe options left for me: romaine lettuce, salsa, and guacamole. Not even rice!! How does one make a meal out of that?? (http://www.chipotle.com/enus/menu/special_diet_information/special_diet_information.aspx)

So, just like that, I said my sad farewell to Chipotle. I gave away my remaining coupons and gift cards (a true perk of being a teacher) and embarked on a Chipotle-free existence. In a strange way, it somewhat resembled an unforeseen break-up: I insisted to myself (and others) that I was better off this way, that it was all part of some greater plan. I didn’t need them. I would create my own version and I would show them! After a few hours on Pinterest and few decent attempts at recreating my own, I had come up with something that was not quite the same but certainly fulfilled my needs to an acceptable point. I could go days, even weeks sometimes, without thinking about Chipotle but I also knew it was lurking somewhere in the back of my mind. And every once in awhile, out of the blue: there it was. I would think about it…or drive past and stare longingly. But I was moving on with my life and I would someday give that once-dedicated-to-Chipotle piece of my heart to something else.

Then just like the pivotal moment of your favorite chick flick (you know when the crowd parts and the long-lost love returns to admit he or she was wrong and beg for forgiveness), Chipotle made an announcement. Cue the sappy music: Chipotle has not only decided to identify all GMO ingredients (genetically-modified-organisms…AKA unnatural) (http://www.chipotle.com/en-us/menu/ingredients_statement/ingredients_statement.aspx) BUT they’re also working to eliminate them. What does that mean exactly?? Well, thanks to my new friend Nathan at Chipotle Customer Relations I can tell you.

1) It means all soybean oil used in the fryers for corn chips and taco shells is switching to all-natural SUNFLOWER oil. Granted this doesn’t help me because everything in the fryer contains corn, but for the rest of my soy-intolerance comrades out there, start celebrating. Those perfect chips are once again yours. Or at least they will be. All stores should be finished with the switch by September 1. At least that’s the plan, call your specific store and ask.

2) Brace yourselves: It also means that ALL soybean oil will eventually be replaced by rice bran oil. RICE!!!! A food on my safe list!!!!! Assuming my body decides to stay on the same team as me from now on, Chipotle can once again be mine!! Someday in the not-too-distant future. Am I ready to forgive them?? ABSOLUTELY. Will I rely on them as much as I once did? Probably not. I’ll still make my own more cost-effective (and I’m sure healthier) version at home but I will certainly go back to treating myself on occasion. Now of course the question of when this glorious reunion will take place is a complicated one. Almost all stores in the New York City Metropolitan area have already made the switch. (Can you say road trip??)

After a follow-up chat with my new friend Nathan, I learned that the plan is to eventually make this switch chainwide. However, he doesn’t know the timeline or the order of markets…or at least he claims he doesn’t. I’m a little skeptical. So I posed the question, “Well, Nathan, is there any way that I can somehow get the Baltimore area to move up closer to the top of that list?? We are a great city. Or I’ll even settle for DC…that’s an easy drive. How can you say no to the nation’s capital??” Again, Nathan claims to have no knowledge of how I can get this to happen…but he assured me that he’ll be in touch if he finds out. In which case, you will all be hearing from me so we can start the “Bring Rice Bran Oil to Baltimore” campaign in full force. Consider yourself warned 🙂

So in short, my love affair with Chipotle is back on. Or at least it will be in due time. (And theoretically so is my rehearsal dinner…better add Chipotle-lover to that co-pilot description!) Until the day of my glorious reunion with Chipotle, please go support them. Show them your love and enjoy your heaping bowl/burrito of deliciousness and a side of those perfectly salted/hint-of-limed chips.

Also, I just have to share this excerpt from the email they sent me today. I always knew deep down that the feeling was mutual…ah yes, the joy of requited love 🙂

That’s right…they love me too 🙂

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Mr. (or Miss) Right, Meet Mouthwash…

Posted on July 27, 2013March 5, 2019 by katiebiddle4317

There are few things left in this world that seem to unite humanity on some universal level…but I’d say the quest for Mr. (or Miss) Right is one of them. I’d say around age 5, we girls tend to dream of a handsome prince who will sweep us off our feet and make us feel like the Disney princess we long to be. For me, it was Belle. No question. (Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m pretty certain boys just think about cartoon characters and video game people for the majority of their childhood days. I think that’s where the trouble begins.) As we get a little older, our criteria for Mr. Right continues to evolve: he morphs from a dashing prince into a gangly teenager who will take us to prom (and maybe even a movie?); in college it’s someone who will take us to dinner (OFF CAMPUS!) and maybe even brave a trip home to meet our family. The picture in our head continues to morph as we do…at least hopefully it does. If you’re still stuck in the Disney prince mode, time to move on. Reality is better than those one-dimensional characters anyway 🙂

Our Stanford D Wing freshman year really did create a “Dream Guy” list…

…Clearly we were aiming high: single and breathing are #1 and #2.

I’ve been fortunate to witness many successful relationships in my 27 years of life. Both sets of my grandparents will celebrate 60 years of marriage in a few weeks. One set will be lucky enough to celebrate it together with their children and grandchildren in attendance. The other set will celebrate the way they spend each and every Sunday: my grandfather will sit at my grandmother’s grave with his bagged lunch, a weekly tradition he has kept without fail for nearly a decade now since the day she left his side. And then there are my parents. I may have only had 14 years to witness their relationship but in that brief amount of time, they taught me more about the graces of married life, the gravity of wedding vows (particularly the sickness and health part), the beauty of laughter, and above all, what it means to love someone unconditionally, than I think many children get to witness in a lifetime. I’ve been fortunate enough to stand beside friends as they have exchanged their vows. I’ve fielded excited phone calls with the shrieks that can only mean one thing: engagement. I’ve sat and analyzed (and I’ll be honest: overanalyzed) phone calls, dates, relationships, etc. with many a friend and roommate. I’ve swooned over precious stories, squealed about long-awaited phone calls or conversations, laughed about priceless moments, painstakingly crafted text message/email responses, and offered tissues and a crying shoulder (over cartons of ice cream of course) when a relationship doesn’t go quite the way someone had hoped. And that’s all just as an outsider. Granted, I’ve seen my fair share of some of the above on my own as well.

The reality is: wherever you are, I’m here to make you feel better. You think it’s truly impossible to find Mr. (or Miss) Right? You’re over this whole elaborate dating game? Well, I hear you. But try adding a food allergy into the mix. Yep, dating is about to get a lot more interesting. I’d even venture to say entertaining. For those of you who don’t have to live it at least. Read, enjoy…and maybe, just maybe, you’ll feel a tiny bit better about your respective place in the dating game. Whether you’re the allergy sufferer, you’re in pursuit of an allergy sufferer (kudos to you…way to be proactive), or you’re just ready to be entertained, here is my story and my advice. I am by no means an expert on food allergies or relationships…but if I can help just one soul out there avoid an unnecessary awkward moment, I’ll feel my journey is not in vain 🙂

It was shortly after my gluten-free diagnosis and I was back at the doctor’s office for my “Life as a Celiac” session. I was handed packets of lists, recipes, safe foods, unsafe foods…most of the things I’ve shared (or will be sharing) in this blog. Many of them were things I had already learned in my extensive internet, library, and bookstore searches. Then came a conversation I never saw coming:

Dr. One more thing: do you have a boyfriend?

Me (with a quizzical look I’m sure): No.

Dr. : Are you planning to have one anytime soon?

Me (thoroughly confused): Well, if my recent track record is any indication, I’d say no.

Dr. (with a laugh) OK, I’m still going to tell you this just in case. Remember how I said your intestines will be extra sensitive for a few months until they heal?

(I nod)

Dr.: Well, that means if you’re out to dinner with someone and he eats bread or drinks beer and then walks you to your door…you see where I’m going with this don’t you?

(I nod again…bright red I’m sure)

Dr.: So the good news is you’re only super sensitive until December. Then you’re just sensitive. So you’ll only have to worry if it’s RIGHT after he eats bread. Until December, you have to worry all the time. (Encouraging smile)

Me: Well, then this is going to be the summer/fall of self-improvement. No boys until Christmas.

And I meant it. Wholeheartedly.

Well as luck and life tend to work, when I returned for a follow-up appointment just a few weeks later, one of the first questions the doctor posed was “So how’s that whole ‘no boys until Christmas’ thing going for you?” All he got in response was a red face and a silent smile. At which point he headed for his closet with the words, “Yeah I kind of figured that would be the case” and handed me this.

That’s right. He handed me Scope. Mini-Scopes actually.

Yep, you think the whole walk-him/her-to-the-door, do-I-give-him/her-a-hug, how-many-dates-until-I-can-I-give-him/her-a-kiss game is complicated for you? I bet it’s looking pretty good right now. You fellow allergy-sufferers, I know. It’s horrible. Go ahead, have a mental freak-out. Swear you’re running to the nearest monastery or nunnery. Head immediately to the SPCA and then PetSmart to outfit what is sure to be the first of many cats in your future. I was right there with you. But perhaps there is a different way to look at it. The situation is still an awkward one, I can’t magically change that. Those of you without food allergies, take a moment to count your blessings. And then keep reading…because you never know if one day you’ll end up on the receiving end of this conversation. And take it from me, you just might be Mr. or Miss Right if you already know some of this information. You have no idea how much it means to us.

Now this advice comes from my own tried and true experiences. Again, I’m by no means an expert…but they’re things I figured out as I stumbled through…along with some solicited brotherly advice from the boys I was lucky enough to spend 1-2 years living with as part of my ACE community in DC. Their heartfelt responses to my freak-out “How do I handle this at dinner tonight??” emails made me realize that although I grew up with only a younger brother, I’m now lucky enough to have 4 “older” brothers. (Thank you, ACE.)

So here are my thoughts. Feel free to tweak as you see fit:

1) Be honest. Right Away: Chances are the offer of a first date will somehow involve food. Only you know what you’re comfortable with. If there are select places where you have eaten and feel safe, go to one of those. Even if it’s Chipotle. (Who doesn’t love Chipotle??) If you’d rather food not be involved, suggest a safe alternative: coffee, ice cream, etc. Be up front….but not super detailed. Just explain that you have a food allergy so there are certain places you feel most comfortable. Don’t spill out the whole dramatic story and endless list of allergies. Most likely you’ll frighten the person away before he or she even gets to see how fantastic you really are.

2) YOU decide if it’s a big deal. Really. Particularly if you’re newly diagnosed, your allergy probably seems like the biggest deal in the world. It’s consuming your every thought, dream, waking moment, etc. So of course because it’s the center of your world, it must be the center of everyone else’s too. WRONG. Trust me, I made that mistake. I finally had a friend who was honest enough to say, “Katie, I know this whole thing is taking over your life but you need to stop talking about it all the time. There’s so much more to you and no one can see that if all you do is talk about your food issues.” And he was right. Your allergies are just a tiny fraction of who you are. They don’t define you. Be open and honest but then move on. If the entire date consists of talking about the inner workings of your intestines or your immune system, chances are there won’t be a 2^ndone.

3) Eliminate the Awkwardness: Many people are familiar with my “there’s no such thing as awkwardness” theory. Yes, I believe awkwardness exists in the world, but I also believe most of it could be eliminated if people just talked openly instead of hiding things. I’m not saying it’s easy, and I’m not saying I always follow my own advice, but still I stand by it. What you should NOT do is put off talking about the Scope/toothbrushing situation too long because then it does become supremely awkward. If you wait until the moment arrives and have to stop and explain as said person has finally worked up the nerve to give you a kiss, well you can just imagine that scene. If it seems like something which could become a possibility in the near future, bring it up. Yes it might be awkward but trust me, it’s better than the alternative. Not to mention, it’s kind of a subtle way of saying “Look, I’m thinking about it and it’s OK with me”. That can come in handy sometimes. Just be confident…and accept that once in awhile it will end awkwardly. But if it does, then it wasn’t meant to be.

4) It’s Kind of a Blessing in Disguise. Think about it. Life is going to throw a lot of curveballs and awkward moments your way. Things that are far more challenging and inconvenient than having to carry some mouthwash around. Whoever you have by your side is going to have to handle those moments with you. This is a great barometer from the get-go to judge how this person is likely to handle those bigger things in life. If he or she can’t accept this and do what it takes to keep you safe, then it’s not the right person for you. That being said, remember to put yourself in their shoes. Imagine you’re back in time before you had food allergies and picture someone saying all of this to you. Would you automatically have the perfect responses and know lingo like “cross-contamination”, “shared equipment”, and “dedicated facility”? Of course not. You’ve had weeks, months, or years to process your reality. Don’t expect the person in front of you to master it in a minute. Give them some time. And send them the link to this post 🙂

5) Remember the Perks You Provide: Aside from your charming personality, dazzling smile, or whatever else attracted this person to you in the first place, just think of all the things you have to offer because of your food allergy.

a. He/She will never (and I mean NEVER) be without snacks. Long road trips, short jaunts, you always have an allergen-free snack somewhere on your person. And you’re really good at sharing.

b. Think of all the foods you can introduce that he/she most likely would never have stumbled across otherwise. Quinoa pasta, vegan cheese, coconut milk ice cream…the possibilities are endless!

c. You’re a semi-expert at labwork, doctor’s visits, hospitals etc. In other words, you will be an excellent caretaker whenever he/she gets sick.

d. You can handle an Epi-Pen like the best of them. You never know when that will come in handy.

e. If you end up marrying this person and your children develop any kind of food allergy, you won’t bat an eye. You’ve got it under control already.

f. He/She should know that there is little you can’t handle. If you’ve embraced your allergy and can face life each day with a smile, it’s pretty clear you’re tougher than your bubbly exterior suggests.

g. You’re awesome. No allergy or illness can overshadow that.

Now I know by this point some of you are probably a little frustrated and thinking “Oh great, another 20-something who thinks life is incomplete without a relationship”. Don’t worry, you couldn’t be more wrong. I’m just as frustrated by that overwhelming mentality as you are. Though I certainly want to share some advice about the quest for Mr. or Miss Right, I am a firm believer that you can only be as happy in a relationship as you are with yourself when you’re on your own. To paraphrase a favorite Pinterest quote of mine, I think the best thing you can do is love your life and make it your own. Keep doing that until you find someone who has their own life that they love. If you find that you both love each other and you can keep loving your lives together, that’s great. If not, just keep loving your life.

My favorite TV show of all time is probably Gilmore Girls. And arguably my favorite episode is entitled “I Am Kayak, Hear Me Roar”. In fact, it became a bit of a mantra among my friends at Villlanova during our senior year after we saw the episode. In order for it to make sense, do yourself a favor and watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyCfX7M7WtY .

Now I must admit, I don’t canoe or kayak all that often so though I appreciate the analogy, I’ve adapted it over the years to something I use more often: a car. I am quite capable of driving a car, and have been doing so quite well now (if I do say so myself) for over a decade. The invention of GPS coupled with my trusty AAA membership has rendered me entirely self-sufficient behind the wheel and there is little that can stop me (unless I’m on 76 outside Philly in which case no one is going anywhere!) Give me a destination and I’m on my way. Or sometimes I don’t even need a destination…I just go. Now would it be nice to have a co-pilot in the passenger seat? Sure. IF it’s the right co-pilot. Would I settle for just any partner settling into the passenger seat for good? I think not. Do I know exactly what that person looks like? Of course not, or I probably would have found him already.

Like everyone, I have some ideas:

I think he’ll be intelligent so we can engage in hours of scintillating conversation. (What good is a road trip companion if you can’t talk??) I think he’ll have a sense of humor…partially because he’ll need one to handle me, partially because I love to laugh. He’ll offer advice on directions, traffic, and possible detours…but will trust me to make my own decisions that I think are best. He’ll offer to take over at the wheel when I’m looking a bit tired, frustrated, or just hopelessly lost…but will understand if I refuse his offer because I need to carry on by myself for a little longer. He won’t complain when I see signs and spontaneously decide I just have to stop in the Blueberry Capital of the World, the Carousel Capital of the World, and the Home of the World’s Largest Coffee Pot (he’ll even smile at seeing my intense level of excitement over each one)…but he’ll also have the foresight and nerve to put his foot down and rein in my crazy when I try to stop at the Hubcap Capital of the World or the Home of America’s First Wavepool. He’ll stay calm in traffic and understand my need to arrive 10 minutes early to pretty much every destination. He’ll accept that no matter how far behind schedule we might be, if it’s a Sunday morning we’ll be “masstimes.org”-ing our way to a church. He’ll notice when I’m struggling to unscrew the cap on my water bottle with my one free hand and without making it a big deal, he’ll come to my aid. He’ll understand that sometimes we need to stop talking and sit in silence for awhile. (I do my best deep thinking when I’m driving after all) He’ll be willing to handle radio duty and appreciate my desire to switch back and forth between every genre under the sun. And most of all, he better be willing to belt it out once in awhile. Every good road trip inevitably calls for a sing-along (or several) somewhere along the way. If he can’t handle that, I have a feeling we’re bound for failure.

Of course, I hope he also has a list of things he is expecting I might be for him. I’m a firm believer in 2-way streets. One-ways are just dangerous. Literally and metaphorically. I drove around DC long enough to learn that lesson well.

Will I ever find this wonderful, seemingly too-good-to-be-true co-pilot with whom to share my journey down this windy road trip we call life? I don’t know. Sure, I will be the first to admit that I certainly hope I do. But I also know that if I don’t, I’ll still take that same wonderful road trip and I’ll love it just as much. I have plenty of friends and family members who will accompany me in the passenger seat for different phases of the journey, rather than having the same person fill that chair. And don’t forget about those saints in street clothes I mentioned a few posts ago. The world is full of nearly 7 billion people, many of whom will cross your path just when you need them most. Or vice versa when they need you. (I also seriously considered religious life for a period of time…in which case I envisioned one of those “Jesus is my co-pilot” stickers in my future. Not actually on my car, but in my analogy…you get the idea)

Wherever you are on your own search for a co-pilot, just remember you are a completely self-sufficient driver. You always have been and you always will be. So if you’re going to choose a lifetime passenger, make sure he or she really is YOUR Mr. or Miss Right. If the one you’ve been questioning isn’t it, don’t be afraid to be honest. I dread heartbreak as much as the next person…but I’d say a few weeks (or even months) of heartache is far better than locking yourself in the car with the wrong person for the rest of the road trip. Keep testing out co-pilots. Remember they have to be great on long trips, short trips, detours, traffic, and everything in between. Keep searching until you find Mr. or Miss “Right for You” (which by the way means they also have to choose you back). I’ll let you know if I ever find that person for me. Until then, I’ll be driving solo down the open road, loving my life, and keeping an eye out for potential passengers…and occasionally belting out my own solo ballad of course 🙂

In the meantime, if you know any great potential duet partners/co-pilots, feel free to send them my way. Just do me a favor and warn them about the Scope 🙂

Two of my best friends captured in one photo: Katrine and mouthwash 🙂

*UPDATE*: Yep, I knew it was only a matter of time before this was bound to happen. Look what launched since this post: http://www.glutenfreesingles.com/.

I guess if you really don’t want to have to explain the mouthwash thing it’s helpful. But I say why limit yourself?? Though if you’re looking for an outing to a gluten-free establishment, maybe it’s worth a try?? You’ll have to let me know what you think if you try it 🙂

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I Scream, You Scream…(You know the rest)

Posted on July 22, 2013March 5, 2019 by katiebiddle4317

If you’ve been living on the East Coast this week, you’ve been sweltering along with me. The combination of high temperatures and oppressive humidity made for those “I think I’ll take multiple showers”-type days. Until of course you realize that the showers are futile so they soon turn into “Why even bother to shower”-days. Granted, if Al Roker turns out to be trustworthy, there seems to be some relief on the horizon (at least in my neck of the woods). But still this week had me craving one thing: ice cream.

I had a fortunate childhood (for many reasons) but one is that although I grew up in a pretty small town, there was no shortage of ice cream shops. I can also tell you there were very few softball games, field hockey games, soccer games, and major springtime school events which weren’t followed by a big-group/team excursion to Big Star, Friendly’s, Sweet Creams, Gabel’s, Twirl Top, or one of another half-dozen mom-and-pop ice cream stands. (In fact we had one walking distance from our house for a few summers that resulted in my brother’s obsession of hoarding quarters. To this day, I remember the cost of a banana split there ($2.50) because of his relentless quest to accumulate 10 quarters.) Most kids had a hard time choosing a treat…and I’ll admit I dabbled from time to time…but for me it always came back to the basic treat: vanilla soft-serve with rainbow sprinkles (no, not jimmies) in a cup. At least until I discovered my obsession with waffle cones later in life. Yes, for me nothing said summer like that delicious vanilla treat dipped in granules of pure sugar.

Proof that ice cream..and gluten-filled brownies…were once a staple in my life.

Now fast forward 20 years. Here I am facing my first summer without dairy. I won’t lie to you: this week has had its rough moments. Gluten-free ice cream was still very manageable. In fact, my favorite selection was still safe in most locations…although I often provided my own sprinkles or just opted out of those. But take milk out of the equation? AND on top of that: no soy? Yep, you don’t have to tell me…things are not looking good. And yes, I know what you’re thinking: water ice, Katie! And sno-balls! You live in Baltimore for goodness sake, could you be any luckier?? (Those of you not familiar with the inner workings of Charm City: sno-balls are a staple summer treat here. When I say you can’t walk ½ a mile without running into another stand, I am not exaggerating) And yes, you would be right…until you factor in my corn situation. All those colorful icy, snowy treats have corn syrup in there, usually of the high-fructose variety, so as you can see I’m pretty much up the creek without a paddle at this point.

So I’m telling myself that I will feel so much better just by helping others who are not similarly stricken with the autoimmune trifecta (gluten, dairy, and soy) and the added bonus of corn that I won’t even feel sadness at my lack of a delicious soft-serve cone on this sweltering night (which a guest also just informed me is also National Ice Cream Day?? Who knew there was such a thing??) Yes I’m lying to myself and no the simple act of sharing knowledge with you will probably do little to assuage my craving for liquefied milk dipped in corn-syrupy goodness…but just go with it. Let a girl live in denial for a few minutes. And I promise there is a happy ending. Well, sort of.

So my gluten-free friends, you’re in luck! (I know, bet you don’t hear that much these days.) Gluten-free ice cream options are abundant and relatively easy to find. Obviously flavors like cookies and cream and cookie dough are out (if only combining gluten-filled items with ice cream magically erased the gluten) but there are so many other choices, you won’t even miss those after awhile!

1) Dive right in at Dairy Queen: DQ is still the place to be. The link below shows you specifically which allergens could be found in each and every item. My only caveat is to ask the server to use a fresh scooper. You never know when they’re double-dipping between flavors. Just ask nicely and say it’s because of an allergy and they’ll most likely be happy to oblige. http://www.dairyqueen.com/PageFiles/5144/US%20Treat%202013%20Q2.pdf

2) Proceed with Caution at Baskin Robbins: BR is not quite as forthcoming with their allergen information. There is a link with a phone number but not a comprehensive list like DQ is kind enough to provide on their website. However, I will say I have been a frequent visitor of 2 different Baskin Robbins locations over the past 2 years and both had clearly labeled gluten free flavors on their case. http://www.baskinrobbins.com/content/baskinrobbins/en/faqs.html So I still give BR 2 thumbs up. Again, just ask about the scooper. And obviously you’ll have to forego the cone.

3) Give ColdStone the Cold Shoulder: I know, that sounds harsh. And perhaps it is. I will say I give Coldstone an extraordinary amount of credit for their attention to allergen information. It is specific, readily available, and comprehensive. So kudos to you Coldstone!! And I really do mean that.

http://www.coldstonecreamery.com/assets/pdf/nutrition/cold-stone-creamery-allergen_chart.pdf

The problem is if you have severe sensitivity to any allergen behind that counter, you’re playing a dangerous game. You’ve seen the tricks of the trade there where flavor after flavor after topping after creation is mixed, beaten, and served on the same marble slab. There are tons of allergens lurking on that thing that a simple wipe certainly can’t eliminate…and even an intensive scrub would leave me nervous. Only you can make that decision based on your own sensitivity. As for me, I stay away. Although they do have pretty good tap water. I did have that once when the rest of my friends were paying a visit there 🙂

4) YJCGW- The Newest Yogurt acronym: Stands for YouJustCan’tGoWrong. That’s right…that new self-serve frozen yogurt phenomenon is great news for all you gluten-intolerant fro-yo lovers. And even you dairy-intolerant ones too. Soy-based yogurt…who knew?? These chains are all pretty forthcoming with their allergen info AND the best part?? You serve yourself SO you know for sure there’s no mixing of the scoopers. Well, that and there is no scooper. Of course there is a small (and I mean minute) chance of cross-contamination if the machine once contained a gluten-filled flavor and wasn’t adequately cleaned…but I have to say when I spoke to each company, they mentioned that and specifically detailed their cleaning procedures. Not to mention, this girl was a frequent fro-yo consumer last spring/summer and I never had a problem. So I have lots of confidence. You really can’t go wrong with any of these gems:

http://tcby.com/menu-nutrition/soft-serve/

http://sweetfrogyogurt.com/yogurt/flavors

http://www.tfyogurt.com/layouts/soy/images/NF_ING_CA_Ver%207.1.pdf

(Dairy-free but soy-filled friends, this is your new sweet spot)

Again, one caveat (I know you thought you were getting a free pass on this one): As hard as it is, do yourself a favor and pass on the toppings bar. The fruit was sliced on a cutting board you haven’t seen, the spoon in the cookie crumb topping is dangerously close to those gummy bears, those “but Katie, they’re M &Ms and I know those are safe” are often really “Candy-coated generic chocolate bought in bulk and not actually gluten-free”, and of course let’s be serious: you really think none of those spoons have been double-dipped by previous customers. Take it from me, they have. So either load up on the yogurt and forego the toppings OR bring your own in a baggie from home and add it on top. After you pay of course…otherwise you’re paying for weight of your own toppings you brought from home! And yes, I’ll admit that last piece of advice is based on real-world events. I was really overexcited about by GF cookie and brownie crumbs and may have overzealously added them to my cup before I made it to the scale. It’s like I tell the kids: mistakes happen…live and learn. And laugh.

5) What about my midnight cravings?? You’re in luck when it comes to those midnight ice cream cravings. There are plenty of safe options to keep stocked in your freezer at home. And yes, this time these are in order of preference. My own…you’re free to agree or disagree.

a) Turkey Hill: Because the best things really do come from Pennsylvania. God bless the allergen-friendly people at Turkey Hill who thought to include a “filter by dietary preference” option on their website: http://www.turkeyhill.com/products/flavor-search.aspx

They also explicitly label gluten-free cartons. Not to mention, their headquarters is in Lancaster, PA. If you find yourself in that general area (well let’s be serious, if you plan a trip there…one doesn’t really inadvertently find their way to Lancaster), make sure to stop by for the Turkey Hill Experience. Just look for the GIANT (and I mean giant) sign with the cow and you’re on your way! And also, I really do love Lancaster. Plan a trip ASAP. I’ll meet you at the Farmer’s Market 🙂

b) Ben and Jerry’s: Now initially I was a little perturbed with Ben and Jerry’s for what I perceived to be a lack of allergen info. Then I talked to them and learned that they don’t publish a gluten-free list because their ingredients change so often that they don’t feel comfortable misleading people if an old list is circulating somewhere. In this case, the lack of information was really a sign of love. Ben and Jerry’s is very allergy-informed and takes it very seriously. See the info below: http://www.benjerry.com/company/frequently-asked-questions

c) Breyer’s: If you’re around my age, you remember that adorable girl from our childhood on the Breyer’s commercials. The one who stumbled over all the fancy, scientific ingredients on other labels before eloquently proclaiming the simple ingredients in Breyer’s: milk, sugar, cream, flavoring, etc. While that may have been a bit of an exaggeration, it is true for the basic flavors. Breyer’s doesn’t make many guarantees because their flavors are often made on mixed machinery. I can personally say I ate many a carton of plain vanilla Breyer’s without incident but beyond that, it’s your risk to take or avoid.

http://www.breyers.com/product/category/113531/all-products

And now the happy ending I promised you…drumroll please….

There is a “Katie-Safe” Ice Cream!!!!!

That’s right! My days of sulking in silence are over!! SO DELICIOUS…AKA my new favorite company in the world…has so many delicious, dairy-free, Katie-safe options that it almost makes my head spin. In fact I really did hug a Whole Foods employee when I stood in front of the SO DELICIOUS freezer. (Don’t worry, I asked permission as I stood with my arms in pre-hug stance. Even in my overexcited state, I never forget the lessons of the Appropriate Contact training we sat through before that first year of teaching…and I apply those lessons to all facets of life…6 hours of my life well-spent) If this is not the most extensive list of allergen information I’ve seen, I don’t know what is. AND they even have gluten-free cookie dough!!!! I know, I know. Take a minute, catch your breath. I’ve been there. http://sodeliciousdairyfree.com/files/tm_phenylalanine.pdf

I have a delicious carton waiting for me in my freezer AND I use their coconut milk coffee creamer every single day. Usually more than once a day at this time of year. Iced coffee with no creamer is just not acceptable. Do yourself a favor: allergies or not, explore this site. Try some products. You can thank me later. http://sodeliciousdairyfree.com/products

Now that I’ve overwhelmed you with information, go treat yourself. Apparently it’s still National Ice Cream Day for 2 more hours. Go dive into a delicious and safe treat. If you need me, I’ll be curled up on my couch with the treat that now defines my summer nights: SO DELICIOUS coconut milk chocolate ice cream 🙂

This is my group of friends at Villanova. We had just finished the final finals of our college careers. And we celebrated the way all typical college students do: ice cream sundae party!
(Many people try to tell me that’s not the typical way to celebrate…if that’s true then I choose to be atypical 🙂

Though tomorrow (you know when National Ice Cream Day is over), please do me a favor. Go to Rita’s. I can’t eat there anymore so I’m counting on you to savor the experience for me. I still haven’t figured out how I’ll confront the first day of Spring next year without my free Rita’s. I’ve been known to have 4 in one day. I guess that gives me 8 months to develop my own non-corn-syrup-based ice flavorer. Challenge accepted…

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Because Sometimes Words Just Aren’t Enough

Posted on July 16, 2013March 5, 2019 by katiebiddle4317

I had planned to write a very informative post today. One full of websites to visit, products to try, and stores to consider. But then the week took a different turn and I decided that information could wait. Because as I sat down to write it, I realized there was something much heavier weighing on my mind…and my heart…and though that something can’t really be put into words, perhaps parts of it can.

I should start out by saying I LOVE words. I voraciously devour them in books, I enjoy using them (sometimes excessively) in conversation, I enjoy writing them…and those who know me are well aware of my Spelling Bee past. You don’t get that without a deep affinity for words. However, if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past few years, and again in the past few days, it’s that sometimes words fall short of what you need them to be. And then what?

This week started off on a high-note: I was heading back to the hospital where I have spent more hours than I care to count or remember. Only this time I was going back, not as a patient, but as a part-time employee. (That’s right, you spend enough time at a medical complex, you might just get to work there!) As I made the all-too-familiar drive (I’m fairly certain there were moments when my body was fighting with itself that I made that trip solely on autopilot), my spirit was light and my heart was grateful. In fact, I decided to drive in early for my shift so I could make a stop at the hospital chapel. I had spent so much time there over the past few months, praying for answers, strength, and healing that it seemed only fitting I should go back on this day to offer a prayer of thanks. Even the greeters at the front desk (with whom I’ve become well-acquainted) shared in my excitement. I believe the quote was, “It is so wonderful to see you in a name badge and not branded with one of those green bracelets” (the defining characteristic of patients at this particular hospital). I spent some time in the chapel and headed off to my shift.

The patient becomes the employee…

Now, I guess one thing I didn’t expect about being around people who are deep in the midst of their medical struggles is that I wouldn’t always know what to say. Here I was coming off of my own health journey, and even prior to my own, my family has been no stranger to hospitals to say the least, so I guess some part of me thought I would be able to offer some words of hope and encouragement to these people. And then I showed a man to his room and left him with the words, “And if you need anything at all, just let me know!”…and immediately I went back in time about 3 months. How many times had I heard those words…and known them to be true…but not known what it was that I needed? I remembered sitting on a bench outside the doctor’s office one spring afternoon staring down at my phone. I must have over 100 contacts, any one of whom I knew would pick up right away (or call back at their earliest convenience) and would most likely drop everything to do whatever I asked. The problem was I didn’t know what to ask. I didn’t need a ride this time, I had no news to share, I didn’t need a class covered, or to cancel any plans. I didn’t even need to talk…I just needed something that couldn’t be expressed in words. And now I watched this man struggle with the same. He sat in a chair, glancing back and forth between his phone on the table, the news stories scrolling across the TV, and the birds outside the window. He sat there for quite some time before I went into the same room to make myself a cup of coffee. I noticed him watching me so I smiled and asked him if he wanted one too. He seemed startled at first but then nodded so moments later we were sitting in the great room with our cups of coffee as the news scrolled tidbits of courtroom cases, heat warnings, and of course the latest Royal-baby update (or lack thereof). We didn’t speak, we just sat and sipped. There were so many words I could have said to him, “I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this”, “I’ll keep you in my prayers”, “I know you’ll get through this”, etc. and though all those sentiments were true, in this moment words could never be sufficient. Instead, my love and concern for this man was best expressed through a simple cup of coffee, an understanding smile, and a fresh set of towels.

It was in that moment I again remembered how many moments like this I’d had of my own. Family and friends who came to spend time with me when I resembled more of a lifeless blob than my typically overexcited self (or probably even worse, when I was in somewhat of a medicated fog). There were so many words they could have spoken but instead I felt their love and found comfort in those little moments they spent with me: stopping in with my favorite lemonade, dropping off “safe” (at-least-we-thought-at-the-time) treats, delivering important forms and textbooks, printing out worksheets and sub plans, going for a walk, filing tax returns, watching old TV show reruns, “pinteresting” for more hours than is probably healthy, even cleaning my counters…and so many others. These actions spoke volumes at a time when I was feeling lost but didn’t have a clue what I needed (other than perhaps a real-life House, M.D.). Granted, I’m sure some words were spoken during each of those encounters, but what remained unspoken was decibels louder: I wasn’t alone, life was still going on, and if I ever figured out what I needed, there would be plenty of people to ask.

I came home from that shift only to learn that many people in my life are dealing with these same emotions this week. When tragedy strikes, words suddenly seem inadequate. We don’t know what to ask for, we don’t know what to say. Words of comfort seem trite and we’re left with so many questions we can’t quite formulate…and certainly no one can answer. We live in a world where silence has become rare. When you pick up the phone to call someone, it’s usually expected that there is a purpose for your call. When you make plans to see someone, there is almost always a particular purpose or reason. But what about those moments when you don’t have a particular purpose, topic of conversation, or question to pose? You just want to know that you are not alone. You want to spend time talking to someone about nothing…or everything as the case may be. You just want a genuine “I don’t have any words but this is me caring about you in this moment” bear hug. Or maybe you want nothing at all. Just to sit. And sip coffee. Knowing that even in this moment as you feel frozen in time, watching the obscure news stories of the day scroll by, that you are not alone and that you are loved.

No one can tell us what tomorrow will bring….and none of us are guaranteed that tomorrow. So take some time today. In the words of my favorite St. Joe’s friend, Miss Irene, “Miss Katie, the problem with people today is they’re so busy they forget to love one another. Anyone who is lucky enough to walk out of this place at the end of a day should be out there laughing, and smiling, and just loving people. Goodness knows no one sitting where I am is thinking ‘Hmm…I think I showed too much love in my life. Miss Katie, go out there and love some people for me.”

Now you’ve heard the woman too: Go out there and love some people today. And don’t just tell them. Show them. In fact, you might be better off skipping the words all together. Spend some time with someone. Share iced coffee or lemonade. Sit in silence, go for a walk, give someone a bear hug. Or if you’re one of those people who is feeling a bit lost today: pick up the phone. Call someone on your contact list. It’s OK to say I don’t know what I need but I just want to sit. Or walk. Or watch bad tv reruns. If all else fails, email me…I’m good at any of those options 🙂

I read once that there are about a million words in the dictionary but that doesn’t mean there are enough to articulate what you need. That doesn’t matter… because sometimes words just aren’t enough. But love? Love always is…